I don't know what it is about this year than any other year, but the dull ache in my torso keeps reminding me how much I miss the carols, the goodies, the bright lights and pretty wrapping paper. I'll be perusing Pinterest and there will be a Christmas-related pin that gives my heart a fresh pang of yearning. Or it might happen again when watching TV and a commercial promoting Christmas/New Years sales will make me wish it were the 24th of December again.
Ryan and I went to Missouri for Christmas this year. And it was different, but in a way that made me wish it were like the good ol' days back when I was a kid. The visit was good, though, if not a little long: we spent two weeks there and celebrated both Christmas and New Years with my family. I got to spend lots of time with family, even babysitting my niece and nephew for a few days, and I also go to relax. But something about the fact that Christmas was vastly different than I remembered it in my family home made it hard for me to move past December the 25th and into the new year.
When our visit was up, I physically worked hard not to cry when I hugged my mom and dad outside of the airport, but I allowed myself a few tears on the plane home. And since then, this entire week, I've had moments of wishing I were back in Missouri, back in the pet-filled crazy home that I grew up in, back surrounded by my brother and sisters who make me laugh and sometimes make me angry. But mostly laugh. But I'm here, in my apartment, adjusting to normality and preparing for the upcoming semester, which starts tomorrow.
I don't know...I can't pinpoint why exactly I miss Christmas so much this year and not any other years previously. It might be rooted in missing my family and the comforts of my childhood home, or it could be missing the things that exist during Christmas time that doesn't any other time of the year. I just hope it will go away soon so that I can enjoy 2013 and the events coming up in my life.
Here are some highlights of my trip to Missouri despite the depressing mood of this post:
1. Seeing "The Hobbit" again with my family on Christmas Eve.
2. The snowy walk Ryan and I took the day after Missouri got a few inches.
3. Historic St. Charles with the family and the Lewis & Clark restaurant afterwards.
4. The dog park in frigid temperatures on Christmas Eve.
5. Christmas Day (most everything about it)
6. Time with Lucy and Noah.
7. Sewing my skirt with my mom.
8. All the random movies that I got to watch with the family.
9. Seeing "Les Miserables" with the family on New Years Eve.
10. Barbecue with my parents for my Birthday meal.
Honestly, I loved it all. Even the moments I wasn't doing anything spectacular.
As a side note, my father-in-law handed down his old Panasonic GH2 to me for Christmas and it was TONS of fun getting affiliated with it over break. It was hard choosing the pictures I decided to post on this blog. But I do have a life that I need to get to.
Sigh, I will definitely miss this, being on break and everything. But tomorrow, it's back to the grindstone and taking my last winter semester classes ever.