Thursday, April 26, 2012

Moving Day

Well, I'm back, after a 5-6 day absence. The wisdom teeth extraction went smoothly, I said some pretty ridiculous things while I woke up from the anesthesia, and Ryan was an absolute angel helping me recover. I had some ups and downs, but maybe I'll get into that for a later blog post. For now, I want to write about what's going on now: moving.

A couple of weeks ago, we saw an apartment that we loved, and we decided to take the plunge and move. We weren't going to move until I found a more substantial job, but because this was such a GREAT offer (only $60 more than what we're paying now, and it's closer, and two bedrooms!), we couldn't pass it up.

Fast forward to now. I hadn't really started packing until Monday night, and so now I'm panicking and wondering if we'll get everything done. Thankfully, we don't have to have the apartment sparkling clean just yet. But we'll do what we can while we're at it.

Here are some pictures of the process.
Before



After



Here is the pile I'm currently sitting next to:


It's been a very productive morning despite still being in pain and randomly breaking out in hives. Ryan's dad will come by with Ryan's brother and some of the neighbors and they'll help haul all this stuff over to our new apartment this afternoon. For now, I'm taking a much needed break and waiting for Ryan to come home from work with lunch.

More pictures to come tomorrow and Saturday!


Friday, April 20, 2012

Today is the Day

Alright, people. I know I didn't blog last night. That was mainly because I was with Ryan's family for most of the evening and the rest of the evening was spent calming me down and watching "Scrubs".

But now, I am an hour away from getting my wisdom teeth removed. For the most part, I slept easily last night. But I kept having stress dreams about accidentally eating something and that would cause something absolutely catastrophic in the procedure. But I didn't eat anything and now I'm here at the computer, tired, hungry, and slightly panicking. I keep remembering that I WON'T be awake for the procedure and that I'll be able to sleep for as long/as much as I want. But I'm still freaking out. What kind of pain will I be in that I'll need to take narcotics?!

Wish me luck, people. I may or may not blog the next few days. If I do, I'm not responsible for what comes out, such as drunken tangents about iceberg lettuce and too much peanut butter on a PB&J. I love you all!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Short and sweet

This post will be short. And as I stated in my title, it will be "sweet". So for the sweet portion, I shall eat some chocolate pudding that I whipped up earlier tonight. Mmmmm, delicious!

Now for the short part. If you follow my twitter, you probably already know this, but here goes: WE SOLD OUR CONTRACT! I wasn't too concerned since it's a freakin' sweet deal and we had lots of people interested. I got an email this morning from one of the couples who saw the apartment last night and they wanted to buy our contract! So now we don't have to pay rent for May for this apartment! Yippee!

And now we're a week away from moving out of this apartment and into our new one in the middle of the cutest neighborhoods in south Provo. It's slightly bittersweet since this apartment has been such an amazing part of our first year of marriage. But I'm so excited to have two bedrooms, an open kitchen, and for the new friends we'll hopefully make in our new ward.

Tomorrow, I shall discuss, in length possibly, all my fears and dread for my upcoming wisdom teeth extraction on Friday. And I may or may not post Friday-Sunday because of the narcotics they'll have me on. Though I'm interested to see what in the world I'll type while on 4 types of meds.

G'night all!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

My lovely new gift(s)

My sister, Sarah, decided that she wanted to give me some gifts this past week. It may or may not have been because she didn't give me anything for my birthday. Since I've been living in Utah, though, I really don't expect any kind of gifts from people who aren't in the vicinity, so it wasn't something I was holding against my sister for these four months.

I was delighted when I got the two packages in the mail! Both gifts came from Etsy, and both were beautiful and unique jewelry.

The first of the two arrived on Saturday.


Two lovely pendants! I wore one of them on Sunday. Now all I need to find are some permanent chains that they can be attached to some time soon...

The second came today.


And I am still wearing it. In fact, this evening when we were showing a couple the apartment, I had it on and kept gesturing with my hand and I felt slightly pretentious having such a large and glorious ring on my finger. I may or may not be wearing this ring daily. I feel like an elf in Lord of the Rings!

Anyways, I am so delighted by my new jewelry! Thank you so much, sis!

Also, Ryan got sorted into Pottermore today. He's a Slytherin. I am kinda sorta plotting a way to commandeer his username...

Monday, April 16, 2012

Pottermore: My ongoing internal battle

I've already written a blogpost about Pottermore on this blog (click on "this" to go the post), and I probably went into a little bit the biggest thing I've been struggling with, but I decided to do it on my personal blog and just let you all know what kind of internal battle is going on here.

I am a Hufflepuff.

I am in the house of the badger, yellow and black, the house that Cedric Diggory was in, the house that Neville Longbottom was almost sorted into, the one where the Fat Friar is the resident ghost and a similarly stout Professor Sprout is the person we are familiar with as the head in the books.

When I was first sorted into Hufflepuff back in September, I yelled in shock. Ryan was sitting in the recliner chair, probably playing a game or reading, and I was sitting on the couch, taking the sorting quiz. The last question was "Heads or Tails" and I'm fairly certain I chose heads and BAM. A yellow and black coat of arms with the badger on it showed on the screen. And I yelled briefly. I was incredulous. I had always half and half associated myself with Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Heck, I'd take Gryffindor because cool people were in that house as well. But Hufflepuff? Never, and I mean, NEVER had I fathomed I'd be a Hufflepuff. On the other online quizzes it never came up, even the ones I was 100% honest on. For the Pottermore sorting, I knew that JK Rowling wrote the quiz herself and so I was completely, almost over thinking it, honest. But "heads or tails"? REALLY?

I keep wondering if I had answered differently if it would've sorted me somewhere else. But it's too late. As Kristina Horner said (click on her name to go to the blog post):


"It's also been suggested to me that I start a new account when the beta is over and try to get Slytherin, but to me, that's very outside the spirit of Harry Potter and being sorted at all. Students at Hogwarts don't just get to defer their first year, come back the next year, and get sorted again. You get sorted once. And that's your house."


I, too, was considering making a new account and trying again. But I was completely honest with myself. I made sure each answer was chosen to the best of my abilities, even the heads or tails one. And so, there it is. I am a Hufflepuff.


And, you know what? It's not so bad. Kristina really said it all on her blog, about how Hufflepuffs are loyal, hardworking, patient, honest...they are simply the best of the bunch. The Pottermore site also gives a great description of what Hufflepuffs are and who they are on the inside, and after reading that description it helps me to cope with what I have become. I like being seen as hardworking, loyal, and honest. Those are traits I greatly appreciate in the people around me.


But I always saw myself as a Slytherin because of my ambition. I tried many different things as a kid, always pushing myself to be the best, or at least in the top 10%. If I didn't excel at it, I would drop it or I would find a way to excel at it. I have every capacity to be the best at something, but much like Kristina's predicament, I lack the drive and the selfishness to run over people to do it. I'm too kind at heart and deep down I empathize with people and could never use them to get what I want. And I'm too humble about a lot of my work.


So, yeah. I'm a Hufflepuff.

But I hate the name, I hate it hate it hate it. What a STUPID name. That aspect of it is fairly ridiculous and silly. If it weren't for the name, I'd be 100% behind the decision of the sorting hat. But as it is, I still struggle with coming to terms with the selection because of the name. Yeah, that may be unfair, but honestly, would you let yourself fall in love and marry someone who's name was Hufflepuff? Yeah, I didn't think so.



Hufflepuff *snigger* pride!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Sunday: What I Wore

Some of my favorite blogs I follow do a weekly or sometimes close to daily thing where they post what they wore and different accessories. I was going to do something very similar to that today, but I got awkward standing out on the walkway of our apartment complex, so Ryan only snapped two photos of me without getting close-ups of certain details, not that I had that many anyways.

So here is what I wore today for church:


Jacket: Charlotte Russe
Shirt: DownEast Basics
Necklace: Forever 21
Earrings: Forever 21
Skirt: DownEast Basics

I got the skirt just yesterday as well as another skirt and a swimsuit from good ol' DownEast. I still had some tax refund money to spend and so I went shopping yesterday evening and bought skirts and capris for the summer and a new swimsuit top and lots of jewelry. It was almost too chilly for this light and summery outfit, but I wanted to wear it anyways. I definitely felt like a secretary.

Hope you all had a great Sunday! Tomorrow is another day of finals, and I have my French final from 2:30-5:30 tomorrow afternoon. I also have my prep exam with the doctors who will be extracting my wisdom teeth this coming Friday. Eek!

Happy Sunday!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

The apartment we're leaving behind

I debated for a whole five minutes on what I was going to write tonight. I'm not sure if I ever truly blogged about the apartment me and Ryan moved into when we first got married, but since we'll be leaving this place in a couple of weeks now, I think it's appropriate to blog about it now.


This is our living room. I spend most of my time here when I'm not asleep. My computer is usually sitting on the coffee table and currently I'm sitting in the middle of the couch, my feet are propped up on the coffee table and my laptop is on my lap with my phone charging by my side. Notice the crooked sign above our door?



This is where Ryan spends most of his time in the apartment when HE'S awake. Once we have possession of my grandma's desk, that one there will be mine. I'm not sure WHY he gets to have the better of the two desks seeing as the desk belonged to MY grandma. But I have a feeling he'd silently cry about it if I forced him to keep his old desk. And there's the lone bookshelf we own that barely fits part of our book collections. Ryan still has some books at home and I, too, have books at home. One day, we'll have many bookshelves with DVDs and books!


The kitchen. It hardly fits the both of us. There isn't a pantry, which is kind of unfortunate, so we've been using the top of our fridge to hold our bread, cereal, and ramen, things we use often enough or things that won't fit nicely into the cupboards. The stove/oven isn't the NICEST thing around, but its gas, which I love! We also love the toaster oven at the very end of the left-side counter. It's kinda finicky and will burn the edges of your toast if you're not careful, but it's been fun having it!


This is our wimpy space between the kitchen and bathroom. Somehow we manage to fit a dinky table with two chairs in it. We've decided to find a table/chairs set that has 4 chairs so that if we so wanted to entertain guests, it would be possible. We used to sit here often for dinner but now we just sit at our coffee table and watch "Scrubs" while eating dinner. Sometimes we'll have a nice table dinner or breakfast, but for now we're addicted to "Scrubs" and enjoy eating and watching together.


Here is our teeny tiny bathroom. I love our shower curtains and the window that lets in natural light while I'm showering/putting on make-up (don't worry, you're not able to actually see through it so our privacy is still secure). The apartment we will be moving into has two sinks, something I've VERY much looking forward to. And it's slightly more roomy, though the toilet is still squished in the corner of the bathroom. Small price to pay for a nice two-bedroom apartment, though.


Ah, the bedroom. This is my favorite room. It's the one that stays the coolest because we have a box fan running at all times (sometimes it sits in the window, sometimes it doesn't). Its big, peaceful, and there's a cushy rocking chair in it, you can barely make out the corner of it. Like the Asian artifacts on the walls? Thank Ryan for those little pieces of awesomeness. There's a lamp in the corner, unplugged. We have yet to find me a bedside table for my side, and when we do, that lamp will go there. For now, though, Ryan controls the light before we go to bed. And that's okay for the time being.

Anyways, that's it for the tour. I will definitely miss the large bedroom. The one we're moving into isn't nearly this big, but it'll fit our bed and our dressers and it will serve its purpose. Plus, it'll be nice having the other bedroom for our desks and studying!

This apartment has really been a great place for the first few months of our marriage. Sure, it had it's quirks, but I will miss them all, except maybe how it gets super hot in the apartment and we need to prop our box fan in the window to stay cool, even during the winter. It's a little bittersweet to say goodbye to our first place as a married couple. But I'm excited for the adventures up ahead in our new apartment and the amazing houses around the complex we're moving into! I've already cooed after a couple on the drive to and from. It's right in the middle of the area of Provo I love the most and would love to live in because the houses are so old and cool!

Well, that's it for tonight. Soon, me and Ryan will retire to our bedroom where we will prop the fan in the window, fold down the bed sheets, snuggle into the bed, and fall asleep. 

Goodnight!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Want to see my work?

Okay, okay, so for one of my film finals, it was required of me to create a YouTube channel with all of the short films we made in the class this semester. None of the pieces are quite at the level I want them to be (I have a LOT more I would love to do with my POV documentary, but that will happen on a later date), but for the sake of completing my final, I uploaded the versions I had with me.

So here it is, my YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/kaemerrill?feature=mhee

I also lack a really clever intro to my channel since I was pre-occupied with editing the behind-the-scenes documentary that premiered tonight at the crew party that me and Ryan did not attend. Instead, we decided to socialize with our ward (for only two-three more weeks, mind you), and eat J-Dawgs. If you have not been blessed with the wonderful gift of having eaten a J-Dawg's polish sausage with their special sauce, you have not experienced the world's best hot dog. There, I said it. It is the world's best hot dog. Or maybe just Utah's best hot dog. And possibly Missouri's since I've never tasted anything better in that state either.

There were lots of extras and so we took home 4, though they won't be consumed with the necessary special sauce unless we visit J-Dawgs and purchase a bottle of it ourselves. Hmmmm, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'm super excited to partake in the deliciousness for a few more days. YAY!

In other news, I didn't get the job I interviewed for on Thursday. That leaves 4 failed attempts at getting a new job, two of which I felt I really qualified for since they were film-related. Ugh. Oh well. I have all summer to find something suitable for the coming Fall semester since Ryan will be working full-time and will be able to easily cover rent with his earnings and I will still be employed at BYUB and will hopefully work 20 hours during Spring semester and 30-40 during Summer semester. We'll see what the future holds.

Tomorrow, finals start. I have my first film final that will consist of watching our 30-second intro films and eating waffles. Yep. No test. Just eating, drinking and being merry. Tomorrow, me and Ryan will be showing our apartment to two individuals. And another two have inquired after it and will hopefully see it next week if either of the two that come tomorrow don't want it. It would be SO nice if we could sell it fast, that way we can move in all the earlier to our new apartment! I can't believe this is happening! And I can't believe I talked myself into moving. I hate moving. And I thought I promised myself that I wouldn't move for two years.

Well, I think that does it for updates. Right now there is a delightful breeze coming in through the front window and I have a nice glass of strawberry banana drink in some fancy stemware. I felt like being fancy this evening.

Happy weekend!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Celebrate!

We've officially found a new apartment!

Today, we had an appointment to go see an apartment at 5:30 this evening. This apartment was in the same complex as another apartment I wanted to go see but before I could the owner texted me informing me that she had already sold the contract. So I cursed my bad luck and tried, unsuccessfully, to make appointments and see other apartments. But then, today, as I was distracting myself from editing, I saw an apartment with two bedrooms and seemingly decent amenities for a good price, and so I jumped on it.

When we went to go see it, I noticed that it was in the middle of a quiet neighborhood, not at the intersection of two busy streets (like where we live now, though it's not too noisy despite that). The couple showing us the apartment was nice and very personable, and the whole apartment was more open and better proportioned than our current apartment! Open kitchen with a pantry, open living room with lots of space, a nice-sized master bedroom with three spacious closets, and a smaller room that will easily fit two desks and anything else we need to fit in there (bikes, perhaps), and that room has three closets as well.

After taking the tour and asking all the questions we needed to ask, I said that we wanted it and they said we could move in as early as April 22-23 and as late as May 1st. We definitely will be using the latter date since we now need as much time as possible to sell our own contract.

So that is the difficulty: selling our current contract in two-three weeks, otherwise we'll end up having to pay for rent each month it doesn't sell until July. I'm not exactly anxious to be doing that.

Anyways, that's all for the update. Tomorrow, I'll hopefully find out if I got the job at the production unit at the library. I'm kinda crossing my fingers for this one.

G'night!

Oops.

Yeah, I accidentally skipped yesterday. But I lasted 10 days without missing a day! That's pretty impressive, right?

Well, this morning I had an interview with the multimedia production unit at the BYU Library. They're responsible for this video and this video (there are links on those words, BTW), and they are an awesome production company. I'd like to think it went well considering the girl who I am replacing is someone I know in the film program here. I am a chatty cathy, unfortunately, but I think they all responded well to my answers and my experience. I'm not getting my hopes up, though. But it was still fun to be considered for the job!

Now, I am in the editing lab, piecing together a Behind-The-Scenes documentary for one of the capstones that was filmed this semester. I think I'm about halfway done, but I would much rather be working on my final for my TMA 273 class that's coming up on Saturday. I need to create a 30 second introduction to my YouTube channel and I have no idea what I'm going to do that will be grabby enough and cool enough. And instead of properly giving all of my attention to that, I'm having to edit this thing by tomorrow night so that they can watch it at the crew party. Ugh. So here I am. I should probably invest in my own editing software, that way I don't have to traverse all the way to BYU every time I want to get some quality editing done.

Tonight, we're viewing an apartment. I have high hopes for this one since it's close to BYU, low rent, and it seems fairly spacious. But we shall see.

Let's see. I wish I had more entertaining things to include in this post, but because I'm distracted by the multiple things that need to go on, I can't really delve into a deep topic or something more humorous. I'll probably post something tonight to catch up. And I swear it will be better!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Confession Time

Hey all. Tonight is going to be a short blog. I have 2/3 of a page left to write for an assignment due tomorrow, but I need a distraction from even THAT. Thank goodness my major isn't something that requires hours of concentration like engineering or math or something awful like that. With film, it doesn't take much concentration, at least for me.

Anyways, I'm currently listening to The Cranberries, a group I haven't listened to in a LONG time. It's kinda fun! So, with that in the background, I shall confess a few things, mostly strange things, that I haven't done in my life that I feel I should've done, or things that I HAVE done and feel ashamed for doing.

1. I have never pulled an all-nighter. Me and my sister discussed tonight via cell phone that I need to experience pulling an all-nighter at least once in my life. Maybe one day I'll take her advice.


2. I have watched "500 Days of Summer". Up until this moment, if people asked if I had seen "500 Days of Summer" I would either not answer and change the subject or I would say "I heard it was dumb." Mainly because I was slightly ashamed that I watched it, just like every other hipster at BYU.


3. I have never really eaten chicken salad. There are some foods out there that I have never tried (egg salad, deviled eggs, potato salad, baked beans, etc) because it just smells funny or looks gross. Chicken salad is one of them. Plus it has a gross amount of mayo.


4. I have never studied more than 2 hours without significant interruptions/distractions. To be honest, I've never really needed to. If I know it, then I know it. If not, I'm probably not going to learn in the next 10 minutes anyways. But I will go through the motions of studying because it makes me feel better and if I do worse than I want, at least I can say that I tried to improve my score. This is probably an awful philosophy, but it's gotten me this far.


5. I am currently laying on Ryan's side of the bed. I just thought I'd mention this since I'm hardly ever on this side of the bed. It's kinda fun, tee hee!


6. I've never had a cast for a broken bone. I've had a broken bone technically (my stress fracture in my foot), but I've never had a cast. I feel like I'm really missing out, especially on the "everyone gets to sign it!" part of it.


7. I've never had surgery, not even wisdom teeth. This will change in about a week and a half. Gulp (I'm getting my wisdom teeth out).


8. I owned a Furby. And I think it's still up in my parent's attic, plotting my demise.


9. I watched "Arthur" regularly during high school. And I would watch it every day in college if I had cable and/or access to the show.


10. I didn't like "Pride and Prejudice", the book. Yep. It was kinda boring. And not nearly as satisfying as the movie adaptations.


11. I actually like ONE Michael Bay film. Want to take a gander at which one? Okay, I'll tell you. I really like "The Island". In fact, I own it. And I've watched it multiple times. I may or may not want to watch it right now.


12. I've literally peed my pants. I think I was 13 when it happened, but it wasn't really my fault: my family is just so darn funny and I didn't want to leave the fun to use an actual bathroom. So my bladder just kinda let go at some point. It was awkward.


13. As of today, I am not really proud of a single film I've made. This sounds slightly defeatist and self-depricating, but really it's true. I think it's because I've never had the freedom to film something that I, personally, want to do. I've had fun doing each film I've made, but because I lack a really good camera at my disposal and real initiative, I haven't done anything yet that is truly great in my eyes. I hope that this changes over the summer.


14. I couldn't identify a Jonas Brothers song, even if my life depended on it. Not much else to say here except that I'm not too ashamed of this fact. I'm more impressed I've been able to avoid the epidemic so effectively. I can't say the same thing for the Biebs or Ke$ha, unfortunately.


15. I'm a slightly ashamed that I am one of those fast marriages girls. I still judge them harshly, until I remember that I am one as well. I hate when people ask how long me and Ryan dated until we got married, or how long we dated until we got engaged. Because both numbers are ridiculously low. I want to lie, but, alas, I can't. But I love my marriage, my husband, and everything about it. And I love that I can finally give a larger number as to how long we've been together/married.

Alright, that's all the confessions I can handle for one night. Until tomorrow!

Monday, April 9, 2012

My New (yet familiar) Hairstyle

Okay, so I may or may not have mentioned this weeks go, but a while back...I got a haircut. The hair part was mostly just a trim (nothing hardcore), but I decided to go back to my bangs look. The "bangs" I had currently were bugging the heck out of me and so I decided that they needed to be back to how they were when I didn't hate them. So, without further ado, here are my bangs.



I had the stylist keep them a little long as I didn't want another "OHMYGOSH TOO SHORT" debacle that I've had many a time when I would trim my own bangs. I guess she could've taken a little more off so that I didn't have to sweep them to the side and could wear them in their truest form: all the way across. I also had her start the bangs farther back on my head, so they have more depth and density to them. At first I was a little in shock with how much hair I let her use to make my bangs but now that I've gotten used to them, I'm in love. I think that I might just keep them for the REST OF MY LIFE. How's that for a lifelong goal?

I guess I'll give a quick update on today: I worked in the morning, went to French class where we talked about the difference between "savoir" and "connaître" and when to use each verb. Then I went to my doc production class and we watched our final versions of our POV documentaries. Overall, I think mine still needs significant work, but that will have to wait until I'm done editing this Behind the Scenes doc by Friday. Ryan took his last religion test before the final and took a post-Math test as well. And then we spent the evening eating dinner, having Family Home Evening, and playing MarioKart. And now he's in the bedroom, where it's coolest, playing one of his new games on his 3DS and I'm clattering away in the living room, considering doing some homework early. Nah, I have all day tomorrow to do nasty homework. Tonight, I think I'll just read. Or play Ryan's old DS.

Happy Monday, tout le monde (that means "everyone" in French)!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter Sunday

Hooray for holidays! Every time I celebrate a holiday without my immediate family (not including Ryan since he's technically my family now), I can't help but feel a little homesick or think of those amazing times when I was younger and the celebrations we'd have back in those days. I get particularly homesick during Thanksgiving and Christmas. This past Christmas was the first away from home, EVER, and I will admit I shed a few tears at the strangeness of it all.

But I should stop talking about Christmas and focus on Easter, though they are both celebrations of Jesus Christ. So I guess they're sorta related.

I suppose I should share a little bit about my thoughts on this holiday and my own personal beliefs. I'm a Mormon. That's not a hidden fact from most everyone I know. And, believe it or not, we believe in Jesus Christ and a Heavenly Father (but unlike many faiths, we do believe that they are two separate entities. Oh, and the Holy Ghost is His own person/spirit too). And I believe that Jesus atoned for our sins and died for them, and ultimately rose from the dead as a resurrected being and still exists to this very day.

I have such a strong testimony in the Atonement. But in church today, a question was asked of all of us during the last hour (Relief Society for all you who are LDS): "Was there a moment in your life where you truly felt the Atonement?" And I sat there, wanting to raise my hand and participate, but...I couldn't. I could not pinpoint one moment in my life where I felt the overwhelming feeling that Christ was beside me, lifting my burdens. I didn't have a tear-jerking story, an uplifting tale...nothing. And I remember sitting there and feeling a little lame.

After we got home from church, I told Ryan this exact story and he said something that I will be forever grateful for: He told me that I didn't need a story or a life-changing moment. The fact that I have a testimony now without something big and bold is what counts. He also said that all of the prophets in the Bible/Book of Mormon that had a life-changing experience didn't need that to convert (except maybe Alma the younger). They were already strong in the gospel when those moments occurred. And so even though I wished I had one of those great moments that other people have, I feel comforted that I didn't need some grand gesture to get me to believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Even though I haven't had some outrageous sin yet to repent of, I am so relieved and happy to know that if I need to, it is possible and to be forgiven. And even though I haven't suffered an extreme sorrow that leaves me hopeless, I am blessed to know that He will be right there with me. This of my all-time favorite passages, and it relates to the Atonement so well:

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
-Matthew 11:28-30

Today was a great day to reflect on my own personal beliefs and how much I appreciate everything in my life. Even though I'm not close to my immediate family, I have a family here close by that is absolutely wonderful and they were so welcoming of me when I married into the family. Ryan's aunts and uncles and grandparents (and parents/siblings too!) are some of the greatest people I know and I love how comfortable I am around them. They probably won't ever be a perfect replacement for my family, but it's a great alternative!

I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday and I hope that you were able to spend time with loved ones like I did!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A Lovely Spring Saturday

Today was a freaking busy day.

It started off with me and Ryan relaxing and watching "Scrubs" in our jammies while the breakfast/coffee cake we whipped up baked in the oven. We took our time getting ready and ended up not going to the Museum of Art. This was partly because I lacked the initiative to clap my hands and get our butts off the couch and into decent clothes since we were both so cozy in our pajamas and enjoying the lazy morning. So that didn't happen.

I got myself ready by noon and was out the door and shopping for groceries by 1pm. I came back, we did laundry and we dyed eggs! I hard-boiled them yesterday evening and had them chill all night/morning so that they'd be ready for dyeing. Here is some lovely photo evidence of such events.








Overall it was a blast from the past since I hadn't dyed eggs in YEARS. Apparently, there is a specific system as to how you actually boil the suckers because we've eaten a few and they are slightly underdone: the yoke is still QUITE yellow. But they're still delicious and we love having boiled eggs around for snacks!

After all of that occurred, it was time to attend my oldest friend Mariah's bridal shower. She is getting married two weeks from today and I can't be anymore excited for her! She totally deserves marriage (more than I did since she's gone through many more boyfriends than I ever did), and I know that she will love every minute of it! It was a lot of fun to spend time with her and Leigh, another good friend of mine, and some of their friends from the ward and other parts of life. Again, here is some photo evidence that I actually did something with people other than myself or Ryan.

Mariah has a mouth full of gum: she participated in a "Newlyweds" type of game where she had to guess how her fiancé would answer certain questions. Each one she answered wrong she had to put a piece of bubblegum in her mouth. Needless to say, her mouth was VERY full by the end.

 The wrappers by the end of it all.

 These eggs were full of topics in which each of us would give advice about to Mariah. I got "Yard" and I wasn't sure what to really say except "Well, you won't have one!"

 Mariah holding up my gift to her. I have her a book about marriage that greatly helped me and Ryan when we were still engaged.

 Another gift!

 The contents of another gift. Gotta love lotion!

It was great to have some girl time and to talk with people about the joys of marriage!

After that happened, it was time for me and Ryan to head to the Final Cut Film Festival at BYU. It was completely AMAZING! We only got to see the the A-group of movies (there were the A and B groups) but I was pleased with all of the films we saw! The best one, "Mr.Bellpond", has recently won Student Emmys which is a pretty big deal! And it also won the Audience Award at Final Cut and the Best of the Fest award. It was stupendous and I wish there was a way for you all to see it as well!

Anyways, so here we are after it all, me writing this blog/doing homework and Ryan surfing the interwebz/looking up new DS games worth buying. He just got 3 in the mail today that he ordered last week, so he should be set for at least a month. That boy loves himself some awesome games.

I should probably wrap this post up. We're getting tired and I want to make sure I get plenty of time to sleep as I'm going to take 2 benadryls and who knows how long that will knock me out. Darn seasonal allergies!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Shameless Plug

Today, I woke up and found this video on my news feed on Facebook:


I was raised in a home where I knew that my faith wasn't 100% with homosexuals, but my parents never ever EVER taught me to hate or turn my nose up at people who were gay. I lived in a moderately liberal town for most of my life and so was surrounded by individuals who would come out and admit their sexual orientation. I have friends who are gay and relatives who are gay. So when I would, on the rare occasion, encounter homophobic individuals in my hometown, my new place of living and amongst my own peers in my religion, it was a little bit shocking. It is also shocking to see and hear on the news certain religions claiming that God hates anyone who is gay. It just makes me sad.

So to see BYU, a school seen by many to be full of those Mormon freaks who hate "the gays" and all sorts of obnoxious pre-conceived notions and assumptions, put out a video like this, it is such a relief in my heart to finally have video proof that we, the LDS faith, do not hate gay people. There are gay mormons in the world! Fancy that!

One of the people in the video is a classmate (and good acquaintance) of mine and he frequently talks about how amazing his mission was and he will talk about the truth of the gospel and I love that he is able to embrace the gospel and his sexuality at the same time.

These people, though, have a long journey up ahead of them. I'm struggling to see how it "gets better" but I guess if they're confident that it will, then I am too.

This post is fairly short because all I really want to do is promote this amazing video and the amazing souls who bear their testimonies and pour their souls out for the world to see. I love the honesty and the earnestness in each of their faces. It's absolutely touching.

Tomorrow is a busy day: going to the Museum of Art on campus tomorrow morning, Mariah is having her bridal shower in the afternoon, and me and Ryan have tickets to see a showing of the BYU Final Cut Film Festival (which I did not enter this year. Maybe next!). It promises to be an amazing day (maybe I'll finish clothes shopping, and possibly clean the apartment), and I hope you all have a great night/day!


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Self-diagnosis

Today's post is probably going to dive into the medical world for a bit. I am going to talk about a problem I've had for about 8-10 years but have never deemed it prevalent enough to seek medical attention about.

It's called Trichotillomania. And I just found out the name of it tonight when I decided to google this habit I've had for so long to see if it's something that exists elsewhere in the world.

It's a condition in which people have a compulsion to pull out their hair (some people eat it as well. I DEFINITELY don't do that), whether it's from anxiety, depression, stress, or low self-esteem, the last of which I'm still trying to figure out. In severe cases, it'll cause patchy baldness and create more self-esteem issues and create a crazy cycle in which you're self-conscious, pull out your hair, and get MORE self-conscious. See how I don't understand the self-esteem-motivated cause? Weird.

I am definitely not someone with a severe case. But it's been prevalent enough in my life that I am aware of pulling out at least 1-2 hairs a day since I was 13, maybe earlier. I think that was really when most of the stresses of my life started. I was going through an identity crisis in which I had my "rebellious" years, which didn't consist of anything too rebellious except dressing like a non-conformist and claiming that I need a therapist because that was what everyone else was doing. Yeah, I was weird. If only I knew then that I had picked up something that would REALLY make me stand out, since only about 4% of the population has this condition.

I'm not sure why I do it. On wikipedia, it states that it mostly happens when the person is sedentary, meaning that they're sitting, laying down, maybe watching a movie, reading a book, doing homework, something where you aren't entirely conscious of certain compulsive behaviors. This is also true of nail-biters (which I used to be before I met and started dating Ryan). I just know that it's something that I do more when I'm stressed and don't do when I'm fairly okay in life. So tonight, when I was searching around my scalp, looking for a good hair to pull, I decided to finally pinpoint what in the world was wrong with me.

Allow me to digress for a bit. I usually don't peruse the internet for things that could be wrong with me because I tend to mis-diagnose myself. I am a self-proclaimed hypochondriac (very mild. I won't go so far as to get my blood drawn just to see if I have some rare disease), and so when I go to the internet, I start wondering if I have a brain tumor, or maybe a hemorrhoid, possibly mono (which I was RIGHT about, by the way), allergies to a specific person, and many other strange disorders. But tonight, I feel confident that because I am expressing the same symptoms as this rather odd disorder, that I am not wrong this time.

I should also inform you how I got to thinking that I wasn't the only one with trichotillomania. I read this site called "Post Secret", where people mail in anonymous post-cards with their deep and sometimes dark secrets to a guy and he posts them on the internet, gets all of them and puts them in books, tours around the US as an inspirational speaker...It's really quite amazing how large this community has grown. Well, I was reading them a couple of weeks ago when I saw one that had taped to it a single hair and the message "this is the last hair I'll pull out". I thought it was odd, yet familiar since I, too, pull out my hairs. And then the next week there was another one, very similar to it. And then I saw response emails under them with people stating that they were going to stop as well. So then it got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, this was something that was common enough that it was a diagnosable disorder. Lo and behold, it is.

Much like nail-biting, it can be cured simply by stopping the habit. So I confessed to Ryan about an hour before I started writing this that I possibly have this condition and to be on the lookout for when I start "scratching" my head and seeking out the perfect hair. They say it could be linked to OCD, which is quite possible. I am one of those people who counts my steps, brush strokes, stairs I've climbed, and sometimes I make sure I never step on cracks if it's possible to do. So, who knows? Maybe I have an inner OCD person, trying so hard to get out.

This post ended up being really self-reflexive. More than I anticipated, actually. About three hours ago, I was going to blog about the events in my day. But I felt that this was something that I shouldn't just admit to Ryan but to this community of close friends/family and you strangers out there who happen to stumble upon this blog. I also feel that this condition is in want of awareness. It is very uncommon, but there could be people out there that are just like me, unsure if what they do is something that someone else suffers. It's nice knowing I'm not alone, and it's nice knowing that I've got the very VERY basic/mild form of this condition. And it's also nice that it hasn't been clinically diagnosed so that there's still a chance that I maybe just developed a strange habit that has nothing to do with my psyche.

Yeah, that would be nice.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday is spelled funny

Welcome to day 4! One of these next 26 days, I'll have a plan as to what I'm going to blog.

Today, me and Ryan looked at that apartment I mentioned yesterday(?) or maybe the day before. Not sure, but I'm sure I mentioned it sometime. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but what we saw was definitely not it. I don't know why, but I am super obsessed with moving out of the apartment we're in now and into something different. Maybe I'm looking for change, maybe I'm seeking a different scene, I don't know. But the apartment we went and saw was T-I-N-Y. I'm usually not a picky person, but since we landed a pretty good deal with our apartment now (it's roomy and relatively cheap, but not without it's quirks i.e. crappy AC and questionable internet), I find that when I see an apartment that isn't as spacy/roomy as this one, I think we could do better. Maybe we could, but so far I haven't been impressed.

The people presenting the apartment couldn't be any nicer. And Ryan said that it would've been a sweet arrangement if he were single and living alone. But together? We barely fit into the bedroom with the queen-sized bed in there! Anyways, it was nice to think that this could've been the one, but I needed a reality check and this was the perfect one.

Anyways, Ryan has now informed me of his intents if we move: it either has to be a 1 bedroom apartment WAY cheaper than this one, or (more likely than the first) a two-bedroom IF and only if I find a new job that will guarantee me 20 hours a week. So now I'm obsessed with finding a decent-priced 2 bedroom apartment, preferably not more expensive than $675 a month (including utilities).

Now that I've got that boring thing out of the way, let me start talking about my current, if not random, obsession: film cameras.



That's right. Cameras that use film *GASP*.

I think it started when my friend in my French class, Vivian, gave me her old point and shoot film camera. I was tickled pink since it'd been years since I've used one! granted, I haven't yet gone out to Allen's Photo to buy film, but it will happen! And then I was surfing Craigslist when I found a Nikon N70 SLR camera being sold with a nice lens for $200. Then I went onto Amazon, my next favorite place to dream of buying things. Usually I look at DSLR cameras on amazon, dreaming of the day when I can buy my own (preferably a Canon 60D, but if a girl really wants to dream it would be the new Nikon D800 because 36.6 megapixels is just too good to be true), but this time I started looking up 35mm SLR cameras. And they ended up being cheap! Affordable! And the idea of having that cartridge in my hand, turning it into the 1-hour photo, and then physically holding those pictures in my hand was just so tantalizing to me.

This inspired an email to my mom about her old film camera. I was curious as to the make so that I could amazon it and get a replica, but she's volunteering to send it out to me! And so that has inspired a project over the summer: use up a minimum of 1 color and 1 black and white roll of film a month. I don't know how much film goes for nowadays, but that plus the 1-hour photo costs could be above what I'd want to spend, so I decided on that small goal, though I know that I'll want to take as many as possible. But this could be a good exercise for me. Since switching to digital, I've become quite the shutterbug. There are not repercussions for taking TOO many photos on digital. But with film, you have to treat it differently: each shot has to have a purpose, meaning, good composition and light-balance. I feel that once I have that film camera in my hand and the film loaded, that I'll see things differently and notice the things that are most important to me.

At least, that's my hope. I can't wait until this project starts. I'm anxious to see how BAD I am at first, but then see the improvements!

Also, I may or may not be inspired by this blog (click to go to her collections post!) to start collecting vintage cameras, just for funsies.

So that is the apartment situation and my random obsession situation.

I had a request to know what happened with the producer position I applied for. I didn't get it, but you know what, I am actually relieved. They couldn't promise me more hours or a job after December, and so I was super relieved that they didn't want to hire me because I hate saying no to job opportunities. Tomorrow I have my second interview with the OIT office at BYU (the first guy referred me to this other person in the department), though I doubt I'll get that one. I'm really not that great with computers and networking and all that jazz, so I'm not getting my hopes up. No other major jobs have really cropped up, but I'm positive I'll let you all know if anything develops in April.

Goodnight, folks. Marriage has made it so that I'm tired by 9:30pm but won't admit I want to go to bed until 10:30 so I seem more like a college student and less like a 76 year old fart.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Tuesday the 3rd

Today wasn't much different from yesterday. Except I had the opportunity to exercise.

Let me just say a few words on that.

I love exercising. I love any kind of activity, even if it's lifting weights and doing crunches! Maybe that's why I've managed to stay thin without much deviance in mean weight for the last 5 years (I'm not entirely sure I used "deviance" or "mean" in the correct context). For the first part of this year, I was getting my fitness on with a Jillian Michaels DVD. I LOVED that DVD. She kicked my butt in the best way possible. But after 2.5 months of that, I was getting bored. So instead of buying a new DVD (which I will for the summer to get my six-pack back), I decided to hit up the gym. I used to do this when I was in the Army ROTC and when I was in my weight-lifting class. And I completely forgot how great it is to lose weight the way I wanted to do it, not listening to a fitness instructor/2-D person in my TV.

I just put in my headphones, turn on the newest NPR "This American Life" or "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me"and just have at it. For the last 2-3 weeks, I haven't been able to get to the gym on a regular basis. Because of this, I've been feeling frumpy and gross. But after weighing myself (I'd been putting it off for those two weeks, afraid of what I'd see), I noticed that I was pretty much the same weight. THANK GOODNESS. It was a Scrooge moment where I thought I was beyond help and that I might as well just give up and succumb to my looming fate as one of the contestants of "The Biggest Loser" (Which would be AWESOME except I'd be really really REALLY fat), but instead I was able to redeem myself from my faults and live my life differently.

When I work out, I almost always start out with simple cardio/a quick run to get my muscles loose. For Army ROTC Physical Training, that was how you started as well. So I run for 10 minutes (a slow mile) and then I bounce from machine to machine mixing up the exercises on each muscle group so I don't exhaust just my legs or just my arms, etc. And despite the fact that I sweat SO MUCH in those stuffy rooms, I love being able to choose which machines to use. I have the advantage of knowing pretty much what each machine does for my body, something that overwhelms most of the beginner gym-goers. Anyways, it was great to laugh along to "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me" today and burn off about 350 calories. Soon, I want to really just focus on cardio i.e. jogging (if my foot will let me. The stress fracture from last year has had a permanent effect on my foot and it hurts on occasion) and biking. When summer gets here, me and Ryan will DEFINITELY be biking to work/school and around the area/through canyons. I'm super excited for that!

Enough about fitness though. Tomorrow, me and Ryan are looking at a potential basement apartment that we could move into this month if we decide to buy the contract. The flat rate for the rent is $495+gas, electric and internet, coming to a total of about $595. That may seem like a LOT to you people in Missouri/non-expensive state-dwellers, but that's pretty freaking low. Most married housing places are on average $650. Right now we're paying $620 total for our apartment. So this would be better all around: cheaper, CLOSER (that was my main goal in moving), and cooler since it's in the basement. The only thing holding us back is selling our current contract. It could be difficult to sell within the month so if we bought this contract, we'd risk having to pay for two contracts...but if we feel good about it, I think it's a risk we'd be willing to take.

Also, I tried doing a "photo an hour" thing today to post, but it kinda failed. I think I'll attempt it again tomorrow.

I'm sorry if these blogs are terribly boring. I could do what I did last year and find a fun "30 days challenge" to do! What say you?

Monday, April 2, 2012

April 2nd

Today has been one of those whirlwind kind of days. Got up at 6:10am (our usual wake-up call), took a shower with my eyes shut almost the entire time with exhaustion, ate breakfast and got ready for work as Ryan showered and got ready for his 8am class. I dropped him off by the building where he has his math class and drove to the broadcast building for work.

Work today was one of those painful experiences where you are so grateful that time goes by swiftly. For the first half of it, a co-worker, who is normally talkative and generally a nice person, was cold, quiet, and snippy. They got impatient with me at some point and snapped at me to hurry and get something. Me and my other co-worker were quietly observing this person's behavior from a distance and wondering what in the world would phase said individual like this. But before we came to any conclusions, work was over and I was walking to my first class of the day, French. That went by fast since all we did was review for the test we have going on this week. I left early from that and was allowed 20 minutes of me-time in which I wrote a little bit of my book report due tomorrow and I listened to "The Decemberists" and breathed in the moment.

Next was my Documentary production class. We spent a little over two hours talking about social networking sites and how we can use it to our advantage in the film world and in promoting our religion/beliefs. It was a really great discussion, and we discussed heavily the Kony 2012 epidemic going throughout the internet.

After that, I headed down to the editing lab, my second home, and finished editing my first cut of my POV documentary. I have a feeling that it is trying to cover too much material in a short amount of time. I'll know on Wednesday if the rest of my classmates agree. But I'm pleased with how it turned out overall, and am glad that THAT is over with. That lasted about 2 and a half hours.

A drive home and a Gilmore Girls episode later, I'm here. Sitting on my couch, procrastinating writing the final 300 words of my book report and my French grammar homework, and listening to my folk music mix (currently, it's "Falling Slowly" from the "Once" soundtrack), and trying to will away my headache. Life is life today. Nothing spectacular, but nothing horrid. There were highs today and some definite lows. Currently, I'm praying that Ryan does well on his Math test. He needs a win, and I so desperately want that win to be a good score on this test.

As for me, my win is successfully getting my Fall semester schedule finalized today. I will be taking 18 credit hours, a full load. I may regret that when the semester starts, but for now I'm excited. The classes are as follows:

1. History of the Moving Image-3 credits
2. Media Arts History 1-3 credits
3. Editing: Documentary (block class)-3 credits
4. Introduction to Philosophy-3 credits
5. Nonfiction Production 1-3 credits
6. Writing about Art & Humanities-3 credits

Yep. The one regret I have is that I'm not taking a French class. I just can't fit it in. I would need special permission to take more than 18 credit hours, and I don't think I'll want to do that. The semester will be busy enough. This is what I get for getting into my major so late in the game. I won't be graduating when I should be (April 2013). I'll probably end up graduating in December of 2013 instead.

I really should take pictures. That way these daily posts can be both mentally and visually stimulating.

Still waiting for Ryan to be finished. In the meantime, I guess I'll finish my book report. Until tomorrow...


Sunday, April 1, 2012

BEDA attempt

I have a couple of people I follow on Twitter who do this thing called "Vlog Every Day in April" or VEDA, and they'll post some fun, quirky vlogs each day in April, or attempt a daily thing. Well, this is my attempt to BLOG every day in April. Because this is a daily thing, it could end up being spontaneous, maybe deep and moving, maybe irritated and wishing things were moving along the way I want.

So here is my first. Today, I sat and watched General Conference for most of the day. In between sessions at noon, me and my husband rushed into our church building and quickly got our Ecclesiastical Endorsements for the upcoming school year so we could register for class. For those who don't know, an Ecclesiastical Endorsement is the tedious process in which you go in and talk to your bishop (or church leader for non-LDS folk) and agree to follow the honor code and all that jazz. If you want more info on the honor code...just google it or something. AAAAnyways, we were able to sneak our appointments in. So, YAY! I was able to register for classes this afternoon (when I should've on Thursday but completely forgot about the whole endorsement dealio...whoops. Is this getting confusing?!) and so now I'm in three film classes and two general education classes, 15 credits total. Hooray. Moving on.

Let's see, what else did I do? Well, after all that, we watched some more conference and then before dinner me and Ryan's sister, Stephanie, did some more filming for this documentary that I'm working on. She's REALLY good at getting fantastic footage, but I was grateful she trusted me with her camera this time and I was able to get a few shots, just to see how I liked Nikon cameras. And they're pretty good, but I still think that if I were to get a DSLR for myself, I'd get a Canon. Just sayin'.

This is becoming so disorganized. But that is exactly how I feel. We're nearing the end of the semester and I have two papers due this coming week, a rough cut of my doc due, a French test, and making sure I stay healthy and pay enough attention to my husband...But I'm ready for the challenge. I'm not having nearly as many troubles at this point in the semester as I normally have had in the past, where I'm burnt out and ready for summer and all of those types of feelings. I think it's because all three of my classes are things that I love: doc history, doc production, and French. Life is chaotic, but right now I feel good where I'm at. There are no major complaints except that I wish I had a better job, more time to work out, more time to travel, more money to move into a nicer apartment, and maybe time to spend with friends.

Anyways, I should stop this rant. It's getting long. I was going to show you a quick video of some of my footage, but it's bed time and I can't wait up for it to finish uploading. Ugh. Some other day.

Day one, over.