Tuesday, July 5, 2011

In one month

We are down to the last month. This is the month I've been looking forward to.

Fireworks.

Trip to Missouri.

Making new covenants in my church.

Seeing familiar faces.

Decorating/Painting our new apartment.

And, ultimately, I was looking forward to this month because it is the last full month before I'm married to my one and only love.

Before I look to the future, though, let me catch you up on a few details so far.

I started work last week. And, boy, is it a lot more fun and work than I thought! We are responsible for taking apart and putting together the frozen yogurt (froyo) machines. And that takes a lot of intricate puzzle-work. We also have to cut up all the fresh fruit, mix some of the froyo (mainly the cake batter and this stuff called "skinny minnie") and we also have to have great customer service and cleaning skills. It's a great environment, a great business, and overall I'm enjoying my time there. I just hope that they can give me the hours that I'll need to keep me and Ryan alive and well as we embark on the journey that is marriage.

I have also completed all the invitations, except maybe two or three. And we have SO MANY LEFTOVERS. So, Missouri-folk/other folk, if you have friends that might want an invite for whatever reason, let me know. I can get it to them. The invitations will be sent out tomorrow, so start looking for them in the mail and start getting us gifts!

Lastly, we finally found a place to live. This was the biggest thing that was making me nervous as the day got closer. It was the last huge hurdle that needed to be figured out before we could be happily betrothed. And after much looking online (and hardly any live looking), we found a place that fit our budget and fit our comfort level. It's just one large bedroom and bathroom, has a nice living room and kitchen area, and it's in a nice complex with people who look and seem quite lovely. We'll officially start moving in once we're back from Missouri and I have the option of painting the apartment any color the complex approves and they'll provide the paint and we won't have to paint it back once we move out! Nice deal, huh? So, if I have the time and energy, I may be doing that before any big furniture is moved in. Ryan's family is nice enough to let us have the queen-sized bed in Ryan's old room and other family is pitching in their other pieces of furniture and I can't help but feel so humbled and grateful for these people who I'm going to be bound to through the sealing powers of the gospel. It's such a blessing to have generous family.

As the days get more limited and the date draws closer, the big question every has for me is: are you nervous?

The only thing I can really tell them (to satisfy them) is yes. Because the long answer isn't something people are generally interested in. Sure, I'm nervous. But I'm nervous in the way someone is nervous for Christmas to get here; to open that large box wrapped under the tree and see if it's that amazing toy you've wanted for weeks and weeks. There's that risk of disappointment that the box you've hoped so dearly is that special something you've wanted is actually a box of rocks, but because you've rattled the gift so frequently and gotten hints from parents, you know that it's definitely the amazing toy. That's how I'm feeling. Even though there is a risk that this marriage will be a dud (as it is with every marriage), I know that neither me nor Ryan will do anything to hurt the other and that if there is ever any contention in the relationship, that we won't act brashly and ask for a divorce before either of us can figure out what's going on.

And so I wait for that day (which is MUCH better than Christmas, if you ask me), wanting to finally reveal that gift and express my gratitude to my Father in Heaven for giving me such an amazing gift and that I'll take good care of it so that it can last for years and years (or eternity).

I'm ready. Or, I feel as ready as I'll ever feel. I may get more nervous as the days wane away, but right now, I feel good. I feel comforted. And I'm ready to take the next step.

P.S. Sorry that I haven't done any picture posts. I keep forgetting about my camera. It's not that I haven't done anything worthy of pictures (I've done LOTS of picture-worthy activities), it's just that I'm forgetful.