Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Night number three

Tonight it sucks.

Sorry, it stinks. Smells like a rotten egg. The odor coming from this evening/night is absolutely unbearable.

I'm writing addresses on invitations. I'm only hoping that when those receiving these invitations actually touch the envelope that they won't actually feel the awful feelings I'm enduring as I write their house numbers and street names.

I would be more explicit in my emotions, but an easily viewed blog is not the place to be so bold. I'm learning that censorship in my verbal and written words is good for me and for the people around me. My journal, though, is fair game. Only my eyes can read the raw emotions I'm feeling and my eyes alone, and that is an amazing feeling. Once I'm done with this batch of names, I'll probably hole myself up in my room, listen to some indie acoustic music (i.e. The Decemberists) and try to remind myself that I should be ecstatic since my life seems to finally be going down an amazing path full of film school, a new job, and marriage.

But happy people are allowed to be sad sometimes, right?

Monday, June 27, 2011

Moping and Coping

And hoping? Sloping? what else rhymes?

I'm already off-topic. This is proving to be an awesome blog post already.

Ryan is gone for the week. He and his family are on their annual Lake Powell trip that I could've attended had I not recently been employed by a place that is having all of their training on this very week. I'm trying not to be too angry with this place of work for that. This will be good for me. Not only will I be earning moneys, but I will see if the famous proverb "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is as true as it is over-used.

What's really interesting about this experience so far (it's been about 36 hours in this week-long parting) is that it's not as tough as I anticipated. I thought I would be inconsolably depressed and not motivated to do anything. But I think because I know he's out of reach and no amount of moping will get him back, it makes it easier to go about my day without really being effected too much. Sure, I have my moments where I stop doing what I'm supposed to be doing and look around and think about what I could be doing if I were down at the lake with him, but then I stop thinking about that and start reminding myself that in two short weeks we'll be traveling to Missouri and I'll have endless Ryan-time. In fact, I will spend a full 20 hours with him driving. That will be the longest, un-broken period of time we'll spend together before we're married. When I think of that week, it makes this week of being parted with him just a little more bearable. But only a little.

I've actually been quite productive today. I went grocery shopping for some items I needed, withdrew money for laundry, did my laundry, went and got my food handler's permit replaced so that I can give it to my new place of employment for their records, went to a food training session for BYU concessions, labeled 60 invitations (but there are 340 left...yikes), and even had time to spare to enjoy an episode of "Gilmore Girls" and spend some quality time with my roommate. So I can easily say that today was quite busy and I actually enjoyed the feeling of being busy. The rest of the week will probably feel the same since training starts tomorrow.

I'm sorry my blog has been boring as of late. I hope I'll have more to report in the future. I'm trying to bring my camera around when me and Ryan do things, but I forget to take pictures. Maybe I'll talk more about them tomorrow when I'm not so tired. But don't get your hopes up.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Fifty what, you may ask?

How about fifty new freckles on my arms due to exposure to the amazing summer sun.

Or maybe fifty different things I can do now that my stress fracture is healed.

Fifty different colors I've painted my nails this past year.

It could mean I only have fifty cents left in laundry quarters.

But, as much fun as it is to leave you hanging as to the meaning of the title, I'll ease your curiosity.

As of today, there are fifty more days in my engagement. Yeah, you TOTALLY didn't see that one coming (I'm being sarcastic, since obviously you all saw that coming since all I have is marriage/wedding on the brain).

Fifty! Tomorrow, we'll be in the 40s! And then soon there'll be a month left and, holy crap, I'll be on the brink of marriage-hood!... Marriage-dom? No, marriage-ness...ah, whatever, I'll be MARRIED. It's amazing to consider since about six months ago on the eve of my twentieth birthday, marriage wasn't something I was even considering until maybe after college graduation. I had a completely different life plan ahead of me six months ago. I was scared of not getting into the film program and anticipating choosing a new career path, I was sure that I was going to not go to school in the fall and bum around Maine with my sister (which sometimes still sounds like fun, were it not for my *ahem* plans).

But now, in a matter of a few short weeks, my plans have shifted drastically. I got into the film program, I ended up not bumming around Maine, and now, by August, I'll be sharing a life (and a house) with *gasp* a guy!

I'll stop reveling in the craziness of this whole situation. But, in all seriousness, I have those moments of "Woah, how did this all happen?" about three times a day. I look in the mirror and wonder how in the world I got to this point. But then it goes away and I happily go back to whatever shenanigans I was up to a few minutes before.

Which reminds me. I have a few updates for you readers.

First item of business, the mono that was getting me down all last week has all but cleared up! I still have a few lumps on my neck, but as for the pain in my throat: gone. I caved and got some steroids from the health center (prednisone for those curious as to what steroid) and they helped immensely. But now I've stopped taking them because there really isn't a need for them. I may have gotten lucky in the mono department and I might not have to deal with it anymore. I'll take two weeks of symptoms versus a month any day! But now I have to watch Ryan closely because he could show symptoms of mono for up to three months of the initial exposure to the virus. So he's not out of the fog until after the wedding. And, so help me, if he's sick on the actual day, I will punch a rhino.

Second thing, I have a new job! I haven't been officially hired yet, that will happen tomorrow. But a new frozen yogurt place is opening up and they interviewed me and deemed me hire-able. So hopefully it'll give me the money I need to sustain my current and future lifestyle. The actual store won't open for another week and a half or so, but if it means that I can quit BYU concessions, then I'm so okay with that. We shall see, though. But, yay! I'm done looking (for now). After two months of searching daily and applying to places all the time, it's all paid off.

Lastly, on Monday, Ryan accompanied me and witnessed the piercing of my ears. I had been talking about getting them pierced a few times before and mentioned on several occasions that I always wanted pierced ears for my wedding, but I guess Ryan was tired of all the talk and actually took me to a local Claire's and soothed my nerves long enough for me to sign my name on the waiver and sit in the chair as they punctured painful holes in my lobes. Yes, it was painful. I didn't cry, though, for fear of looking pathetic. But I hope I never have to do it again. They're healing nicely and there aren't any infections/allergic reactions yet. And if all goes well, I'll be able to take these studs out a week before the wedding and will be able to wear whatever earrings tickle my fancy for the big day.

Anyways, I think that's it. Wedding plans are going well. The wedding invite has been created, all that needs to happen is to get them printed, put into envelopes, and sent on their merry way. They are going to be sent out no later than the beginning of July.

Everything else is just peachy. I'm enjoying these gorgeous days and am so blessed that I'm not having to take finals today (like my roommate is having to do).

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


The past couple of weeks have gone by so fast! The moment I got engaged, I've been planning and choosing colors, finding a place to live and buying a wedding dress. A lot of the big things have already been taken care of, including getting our engagement pictures taken. So here is a little preview of the photos we got done by Ryan's sister, Stephanie:

There are more, but I don't want to post ALL of them just yet. The best are being saved for the wedding invitation. We're hoping to have those made/mailed by the end of the month. So look for those in your mail boxes!

In other news, my foot is better. I'm allowed to run, jump, hike...do whatever I want. But the same day I found that out, I got a blood test done (and I didn't even CRY!) and they found out this sickness I've been battling with for the last week and a half to two weeks is mononucleosis. Yes, I have mono. Until a couple of days ago, it was really manageable. My energy level wasn't low, my throat was fine, the only thing that was freaking me out were all the swollen lymph nodes in my neck (there are about 6 swollen ones now). But today, or should I say last night while I was sleeping, my throat started hurting so much that it woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep for half an hour. It's still really painful as I'm typing this and am hoping that it doesn't get any worse, otherwise I'll need to go to the health center and request some steroids. I'm also hoping that this mono goes away by the beginning of July. I can't afford to have this sickness for too long.

Anyways, that's all for now.