Saturday, March 26, 2011

Best Coast

I've recently fallen in love with a band called Best Coast. Here is their song "Boyfriend":




The cover of the album is a bit ridiculous, but there's something soothing about a cat sitting in the water with palm trees.

The entire album makes me crave summertime. And I'm sorry if you don't like it. That just means you're not a fan of summer.

As for updates in my life: there really isn't anything. I'll be going to the Student Health Center on Monday to see what's up with my foot. They suspect it's a stress fracture, which wouldn't be good seeing as those take 2 months to heal. But that's a post for another day. Tomorrow, I may update with photos of my time at The Festival of Colors.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I Want THAT

I don't know what inspired my sudden need for a new swimsuit, maybe it was my gandering on the Anthropologie website or just the change in the weather and seasons, but I recently discovered this little piece of amazingness on that sinful, horrible, but oh so wonderful site:

How CUTE is that? I fell in love immediately. The cut, the design, the pattern...then I looked at the price: $148. YEEOWCH. I'd rather spend that kind of money on a brand new iPod.

I told my roommate, Janica, my predicament: I needed this swimsuit, but I needed it to be cheaper. Ladies, have you ever wanted a piece of clothing so bad that your heart beat fast and you were willing to pay whatever amount needed to have this piece of clothing? I guess I shouldn't exclude men in this...

That's how I feel right now. But...I don't even have the money for that right now. And if I could find a knock-off for cheaper, I'd rather do that. Janica was very helpful and said that while she was looking for her perfect swimsuit (white with cherry print), she found some cute vintage ones similar to this Anthropologie masterpiece. And the best one that I could find that I was satisfied with is from Mod Cloth:

The dots are bigger, but it's the same cut, same halter...same amazing retro feel that I just NEED to have it. And it's only $90! (Ha, only...)

I've never spent that much on a swimsuit. I'm one of those that usually treats swimsuits as a practical thing and go for the cute, cheap options, never really spending more than $40 on it. But, this summer, it's going to be hard not to want to get this swimsuit. I'll work however many hours needed to scrounge up the spending money to GET this. I'll do WHATEVER I need to do to have this swimsuit and look retro. Oh. Man. I'm getting heart palpitations (and tingly fingers, if you must know).

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My Unrequited Love

I was stumbling upon some websites and it took me to this photographer's blog who had a project in which they would take pictures and post one every day of the year. And this one, in particular (they're all pretty amazing) really stuck out to me.

As all (or most of you) know, I've had a tough time with Calculus. It all started at the beginning of the semester, when I first really started acknowledging it's existence. Immediately, I was attracted to it. I would even go as far as saying I was in love with Calculus from the get go. I loved everything I about it; it all made sense in my head and I felt that everything was going well. But, my love for calculus was unrequited. And with all unrequited love situations, it wasn't reciprocated. And so, with as much spite as Calculus could muster, it threw my love in my face and told me I wasn't good enough. Twice. The first time, I didn't take it seriously. It could just be playing hard to get and so I persisted.

After trying so hard to win it over, spending time with it, nurturing the relationship, even getting council on how to better myself for Calculus. But, no matter how hard I tried, it still wasn't good enough. And so, I had to break up with Calculus (or I guess give up on it since we never really agreed to "date" in the first place). It was a tough decision. My future depended on whether or not I would continue pursuing calculus. But, I didn't want to risk my heart. And so, I've gone cold turkey. I haven't picked up my calculus book in a week and I feel great. I can move on to bigger and better things and forget that this ever happened to me.

But in all seriousness, it was really tough. I'm not much of a quitter, and so realizing that I was failing math was something that really hit me hard. I'll admit, I cried over it a few times. Stressed about it. Lost sleep over it. Spent endless hours in the Math Lab to improve my grades.

A couple of Sundays ago, we were talking in Relief Society about making choices in life. I will admit, I wasn't paying attention to most of it until it shifted to a discussion about making the wrong decisions. I've talked to a couple of sisters (literal ones, not some ladies in my ward that I call "sister") about failure and making the wrong choices in life. I won't delve into their "wrong choices" but something really struck me when we were talking. Juli told me something about my own "failure": it's not a failure if you learned something from it. And that is so true. There have been many times when I make the wrong choice, even if it's between two very good things, and had to learn from that. Sometimes I wonder if coming out to BYU was the wrong choice in the grand scheme of things, but the right one for where I am today. Maybe I had to choose the wrong to get to the right. That doesn't mean, though, that you choose the wrong on purpose, like you choose to smoke to learn that smoking is bad.

But something you learn in the Army in particular is that there are many different ways to do something. As a leader, you have to make the choices you feel are right to get the goal accomplished. And so, I chose Calculus thinking that that was what I needed to do to get this general education requirement complete without taking an easier math beforehand. And that was, obviously, not the best choice. It wasn't a wrong choice either, for that matter. But it was a choice I needed to make so that I could learn from my mistakes.

So how does this lead back to the picture at the beginning? Well, it takes courage to make those choices. The fear of the unknown is a common fear, but you need to have the courage to choose, instead of not choosing and the path is made for you. And you need to stick with your choice for as long as you feel you can stick with it. In my case, I waited until the absolute last minute before I stopped taking Calculus. I'll face the consequences of having a W on my record, but that, I felt, was a better result than a lowered GPA.

The second part, though, is just as important. Sometimes you need to carry through with your choice, even in the face of failure. Because failure really isn't failure if you come away from that and you know something more about yourself or the situation you faced. Stick to your guns, even if you're completely incorrect.

P.S. I might end up blogging a ton for a while, because I have nothing else to do now that I'm done with Calculus. Maybe I'll go find a second job...

P.P.S. here is the website to ALL the pictures/inspirational quotes: http://365q.ca/

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I feel different

Since March began, I've felt very different. It's a good kind of different, sometimes scary, but different nonetheless.

Wait, you want me to get into specifics? Well, don't mind if I do, imaginary audience who I perceive as being ravenous for the latest Kirsten-gossip:

1. A friend of mine told me she got engaged this weekend, and I didn't feel a single ounce of envy. None. Usually, when I find out about an engagement/marriage/dating situation, I have some form of jealousy, no matter how small. And I usually take the news with a false, plastered smile because of said jealousy. But not this time. I found out first via text and immediately shook myself out of my nap (I was asleep when I got the text) and responded with the utmost joy and ecstasy that one can feel without being the one who is engaged. When I saw her next, I bombarded her with questions stemming from my genuine curiosity and I was absolutely brimming with happiness. Maybe this is a one-time situation, since there hasn't been another engagement announcement to test this new emotion, but whatever. I'm claiming that I'm different.

2. I recently discovered that I'm not as weak as I thought I was. I was put to the test a couple of times this month, and each and every time (except the time when I was presented with meat and I ate it despite my lent-fast) I denied what was being presented because I didn't WANT to do it! It wasn't because I knew I shouldn't. It was one of those moments I knew that I had actually gone through that change of heart they talk about in the scriptures, not just going through the motions for the sake of obedience. It's a great feeling, if you haven't yet felt it.

3. I find that I'm smiling a lot more. Not just when people crack jokes or whatever. But when I'm walking around campus, I smile for the sake of smiling. My face doesn't naturally smile. It takes a lot of work for me and for other people to get me to laugh or smile, but not this month. I've got a grin on my face, waiting in anticipation to break into a guffaw or a giggle of some sort. So if you want to see if your new jokes are laugh-worthy but have a weak ego, come to me. I'll laugh.

4. I've not only accepted defeat in my calculus class, I'm okay with it. I've dropped the class despite my better judgment and my self-inflicted motto of never accepting defeat (this could also be because of the Soldier's Creed and Warrior Ethos which has the following lines: "I will never accept defeat. I will never quit."), and I haven't felt any better about the decision. I now have tons of free-time to look for a second job and to freak myself out about whether or not I'll get into the film program this time around (submitted my application yesterday).

5. I feel, for the first time in my life, that I know what I truly want. This has nothing to do with my career since that's still very much up in the air until finals week. But I can clearly visualize my future in 10 years and see exactly what I want. And it feels great. And scary. A good kind of scary. I wish I could elaborate, but, alas, this is not the time nor place for elaboration. Not yet, anyways.

So yeah. March is full of different things and it's been amazing so far. Also, I have two visits to look forward to: one from a good friend, Tamara, and the second from my parents. March is gonna be awesome!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Dance Class

Today I blog about my dance class. Right now, the unit we're in is choreography (no, not the Danny Kaye song from "White Christmas"...though some of the dancing is kinda along those lines). So this involves partner dances from ALL around the world. My personal favorite of all the partner dances so far is the Scottish contra-dance. It's very similar to Irish dance, except it's less kick back towards your butt and more low and forward...I don't know if any of you know what that means, but youtube Irish and Scottish dance and you'll see the difference. I also enjoy Argentine and Spanish dance though those are the dances responsible for jacking up my left food.

I took some video of my class mates doing Tinikling, another fun, but DANGEROUS dance from the Phillipines. This is only our third time doing it with the beams so it's still tricky for us. And the pole beaters don't give us enough room or don't stay on beat...it's hard trusting people who are only beating these poles for the third time as well...


video
Pretty crazy, huh? I'm hoping this video works...I can't tell right now.

But as I mentioned above, while doing this Spanish dance called Jota, I injured my foot. I've been trying to google reasons why it hurts. But nothing definitive. All I know is that the pain goes away until I dance again and then it comes back as strong as before. The Jota is a fun dance to do, but I'm hoping it's not the last dance I do.

Short blog post. But I have some things I need to accomplish before the night is over.