Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Saga at Raintree

It's early (actually it's not, but who cares anyways) and my titles always suck so please just glance at the atrociousness that is the title, grimace a bit, and then move on.

Thank you.

So, yeah. I'm living at Raintree this school year. Before I even set foot in the place, I was so darn excited to be living someplace that wasn't Freshman housing or ridiculously expensive. I was so sure that Raintree was the best deal ever and that I had somehow snagged it before anyone else. Even after talking to my sister Emily, who lived at Raintree a couple of years when she was going to BYU, I was so sure that there would be no problems at all.

Upon arriving at Raintree, I was still blindly optimistic. I had spent the morning cramming mine and my friend's cars full of my stuff located at my Grandma's house and had driven the 20 minutes it takes to get to Provo, parked my car, got out, sneezed probably (I'll stop being specific now), and went to the check-in, ready to get my code to my apartment and move into my new, amazing life at Raintree.

It went smoothly at first. I told them my name and they told me that I did, indeed, have a place to live. Not that I was worried. They gave me the booklet with all the rules and stuff I don't care about and sent me down to a man at the corner of the table. I go there. Give him a piece of paper I signed. He mispronounces my name but quickly corrects himself, and then asks if I want a parking permit. The following conversation ensues...

Guy at Table: Do you have a car and would you like a parking permit.

Me: I think so.

Guy at Table: You think you have a car? Or you think you would like a parking permit.

Me: Well, I maybe want the permit.

Guy at Table: But you have a car...

Me: Oh, YES! I mean, yes, I do.

Guy at Table: With the permit, it'll be $378.39

Me: Uh...well, I don't want the permit then. (I was stupidly thinking that was the price of the permit. I didn't want to fork over money, so I wisely said I didn't want one)

Guy at Table: Well, you'll need one by Wednesday.

Me: Okay, I'll have the money then.

Guy at Table: *punches some numbers into his calculator thing* Without the permit, it's $348 dollars.

Me: Uh...

Guy at Table: Is there an issue?

Me: Well, I don't have...the...

Guy at Table: You need the money before you can move in.

Me: Well, I paid $400 in April--

Guy at Table: That was for a deposit and this month's rent

Me: *confused* Ohhhhkay, well, I don't have the money right now--

Guy at Table: Well, when you do have the money, you can come back and we'll finish this. But I can't let you into your apartment without the money.

Me: *about to breakdown* okay. Uh, I'll be back I guess.

And I left. I tried calling my mom about a hundred times (It was more like 6, but for hyperbole's sake...) and she didn't answer. I was panicking. I needed money and I didn't have it and that meant I couldn't live anywhere! (that's not entirely true either. Worst case scenario was that I would live with my Grandma, which is actually a pretty sweet deal...) But then I remembered my reserve line credit that I had at my bank. I would use that for now until I got my loans and all would be alright.

Long story short (TOO LATE), I shifted some funds online and then went back about 45 minutes after I left and embarrassingly gave the guy my card, he swiped and it was all good. I could move on down to the lady with my apartment code.

From that point, it was a whole different mess of moving in and realizing I didn't have a lot of room for all my stuff and having to take things back...that'll be for a different day since this is getting long enough.

Moral of the story: There's always money in the banana stand.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Operation Relocation

After my 4-month stint in the homeland, I am finally back in good ol' Utah. There will be many things I will miss, though, so here is a list of things I'll miss and things I won't miss about Missouri in the coming months.

I'll miss...
-Family (I guess...)
-Sparky's ice cream
-Downtown Columbia
-All the pets (i.e. Coco, Sadie, Howard, Eunice...)
-Local restaurants
-Green everywhere
-Cookies made by my dad
-Our grand piano
-The nature trail/tennis courts
-St.Louis trips
-The Ragtag theatre
-The public library
-The well-equipped kitchen
-All the nursery kids I would play with every Sunday
-Wentworth Miller guy at the Student Rec Center
-Everyone at Bob Evans, even the people I didn't talk to.

I WON'T miss...
-How warm the water was at Oakland Pool
-Waking up for work so gosh darn early
-Creepy Co-worker
-Driving my car up Blue Ridge hill
-Being paranoid of deer crossing the road
-Serving horrible tippers
-Hearing mom's students making "music"
-The finches waking me up to their loud ruckus
-Sadie peeing by my door at least once a week (I never told you, mom...)
-Sleeping in the cleaning closet at work (true story. Took an hour nap in there on accident once)
-More humidity
-Seeing people I don't want to see at various businesses and making awkward small talk

There are probably lost more to each list, I'm just tired and not looking forward to moving into my apartment this week. It's not that I don't want to, it's just the process of moving boxes and unloading them and getting settled...could I just skip all that and just exist in the place already?!

Yeah. This post is boring. But I don't care. I don't care about any of you. That's a lie. I do. I care. I'm just tired. And I puked this morning. Disgusting, huh? Too much information about my life? DEAL WITH IT.

I'll stop now.

Friday, August 13, 2010

My laptop is sick

Yesterday, at around 1:52 in the afternoon, I was surfing the web via StumbleUpon on my lovely year-old laptop. Then, Google Chrome, my browser of choice, decided that it couldn't go on any further with the stumbling (or so I thought at first) and died. This frequently happens with Chrome nowadays so I just assumed that it was one of those PMS moments for the browser and tried opening Chrome again.

No go. It died the minute I opened it.

It was then that I noticed a little window pop-up that looked rather alarming, like it had something of importance typed upon it's pixel'd surface. So I read it. It told me that "chrome.exe" was infected and if I wanted to download an anti-virus software NOW! (The "NOW" wasn't in caps on the initial pop-up. That's just how I read the word in general). Intrigued by what this pop-up had to offer, I clicked "Yes" and it took me to Internet Explorer (my least favorite of all the Browsers) and to a website selling software.

I didn't want to waste my precious money on software when I had more than enough anti-virus stuff already, so I closed out of it and decided that Chrome was being all moody and I was going to try Safari. I tried opening Safari and it was killed immediately by the insistent pop-up. Annoyed at this point, I tried opening my Symantec anti-virus system to see if I really did have an infected computer. But that was killed. I tried opening another thing (at this point, I was just clicking programs and whatnot so I don't remember exactly what I opened)...

And it was killed too!

Don't you just love how italics make things so dramatic? I said it dramatically in my head, so I guess it fits.

So, with all these programs being killed off and this supposed "Anti-Virus" program trying to get me to buy it's stuff, I deducted that I had a virus. But I couldn't get online to prove that I was right. So, yesterday, after accepting defeat that I wouldn't be able to get online or do ANYTHING, shut my computer at 4:03 pm and got onto my parents' more high-tech computer to do research.

Sure enough, there was a "Security Suite" malware that gets into your system and shuts off all other anti-virus programs so that it can't be deleted and gets into your other programs and shuts them down, claiming under false pretenses that it is "infected" with a virus. And there are ways of getting rid of this malware, and I've yet to try them out.

Long story short, it's awful. I hate that I can't do anything on my laptop and that I have to dig deep to find the motivation to actually get rid of this stupid thing. *sigh* Better do it quick, I leave in a week as of today.

On a different note, I LOVE StumbleUpon. And yesterday, now having all this free-time since I wasn't surfing the web, I made these delicious cookies I found using SU. They're called Ice Cream Chocolate Chip Cookies and they're found at this delightfully delicious-looking website:

 Look how GOOD those look! These cookies were some of the best-tasting cookies I've ever had, not to mention the cookie dough was so creamy and good...YUM! I used French Vanilla ice cream and it was very successful. I kinda wanna try it with something like Butter Pecan, just to see how it turns out. Maybe next time.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Sleep? At night? Who DOES that?


Not literally, I'm not an undercover detective. Or a kitchen appliance.

But I am super hyper. Well, not super hyper like I'm bouncing off the walls or anything. No. Its more like a dull and quiet hyperactivity in which I have a strange urge to do really spontaneous and possibly dangerous things like infiltrate the den of a mother bear or built a fort in a tree at this time of night. And what's worse, I now have a camcorder to record all of my stupid endeavors.

I currently have stored inside my camcorders amazing 80GB hard-drive THREE videos in which you see me acting stupid. The first I think is just me making faces and doing my velociraptor impression (or it could be an impression of the aliens from "Signs" since they wail from time to time when they're not doing their freaky clicky noises). The second is when I decide to act on my absurd impulses to go exploring at 11 pm (not even 20 minutes ago, might I add) and then hunt for Alfred the cat, who turned out to be easy to hunt since he was sleeping on the couch. And then the last video is me being stupid again and making more faces and laughing at how stupid I am late at night.

I think I also say a few times that I'm not under the influence of any substance. And to solidify that argument, I state that I go to BYU. That's convincing, right? And that may or may not have been sarcastic.

But I will write, for the record, that I am completely clean of anything except maybe a few anti-histamines and no-bake cookies. Seriously. I'm too poor to purchase anything that would have such an amusing effect on me. And also, I have no desire to ingest/sniff/shoot up (NEVER!!!!) anything that would make me do worse things than what I do without those. Seriously, I don't need help. I'm crazy as it is. These videos are proof.

And you're probably wanting to see these videos, huh? You're all CURIOUS as to what exactly I do at night...well, you can't see them! HA! Mainly because the shame that I'm as stupid as I am right now is too much to bear and secondly it takes a gajillion years (give or take a few million) to upload videos onto blogger. So blame blogger of the entertainment you *almost* had.

My intentions, though, never were leaning in that direction. I'm pretty sure I'm going to delete the videos once I review them in the morning. My impulsive attitude right now is telling me to cut and edit them and create a rather bizarre video that I would send to potential employers. Why employers? I don't know. My rational side is telling me that's the stupidest idea ever since they would definitely NOT hire you. But my ridiculous side is telling me that it would be hilarious to see their reaction, assuming I would be in the presence of said employer(s) as they watch the video.

There really isn't a point to this. As I always threaten, I may delete this post. I'm so bored though that I'm continuing to type.


No. It was the house settling. Or dad snoring. Dang.

Actually, nevermind. Dad is up. Must have low blood sugar. Should I scare him as he exits his room? Sounds like fun...but I don't want to induce a heart attack. I would feel awful.

I was going to blog about work (because that's SOOOOO interesting) but I'm too hyper to concentrate on work. Nor do I care enough this late at night. Tomorrow at 10:13am I'll probably care. But not at 11:16pm.

Okay, I'm stopping here. Primarily because I just realized that I lack the fame that Allie Brosh has and her amazing blog, Hyperbole and a Half (This blog contains swearing. You have been warned). And so I can't get away with this kind of blogging and have it be deemed hilarious. All five of you dedicated readers (Hi family!) are probably annoyed that you wasted your time reading this. Be annoyed! You have to love me anyways, since I'm sealed to you for time and all eternity, you ungrateful family of mine.

Seriously, I need to stop now. I'm trying to pick fights with family members I can't even physically see. But I know you're there...oh yes, I can feel you judging me.

/End Hyper Rant

P.S. It WAS thunder! And dad got up to give Trissey tranquilizers to calm her down. Think they're human-safe?