Friday, August 28, 2009

The Care Packages

Since I've been here, I've gotten two care-packages: one from my mom who sent it out with Mariah when she moved out here to Utah. And the other from my sister, Sarah, who was sending me out some of her DVDs anyways and decided to make it a bit more than just that.

Here are the highlights of my mom's package/tub:
Here are the highlights of Sarah's care package:

So that's about it. Half the chocolate is gone and I've watched one DVD since I got Sarah's care package yesterday. Mom's was very appreciated because it contained a lot of things that I need for the coming year.
I'm working on writing letters to various individuals and am very excited to correspond to individuals via snail mail. Anyone that wants to send things to me, please do! If you don't have my address, email me (If I know you, you know my email so I won't be posting it here).

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Finally! Somewhere permanent!

Today was the big move down Freedom Blvd. from the temporary apartment to the year-long dorm room at Wyview. Kamrie, Katie, and Nate (my cousins) all helped pack up the SUV and drive on down and unload in my dorm. As I've already seen from an earlier tour of Wyview, the dorm is really nice compared to the apartment I was living in. Just see for yourself:This is my room (the top bunk is where my roommate, Justyna, will be sleeping). My bed isn't as comfortable as the apartment bed, but it's longer and still pretty nice.This is my dresser top and it's already cluttered! I'll eventually sort through it and make it more aesthetically pleasing.My closet, which will be cluttered as long as I have as much clothes as I do. My violin is sitting on the top shelf.Check out the toilet. Since the dorm is meant for disabled people (yeah, I feel bad for taking a spot in this place from someone who deserves it more...) this bathroom has TONS of room and the toilet is slightly higher than most other toilets, which was quite disconcerting the first time I used it.
The sink/mirror and my clutter in the corner. I could easily take up ALL the room on the sink, but I decided to leave room for my roommates. Notice the metal bars, again, for disabled people.
This is part of the couch, the window(s) and my coat hanger, which didn't have room in my actual room. So it'll be sitting there until I get some input on where to put it.
This is the kitchen. Pretty basic, nothing too crazy or complicated. but it's definitely nicer than the University Villa apartment kitchen.
My fridge, littered with my pathetic food collection. Since this picture, I have gone shopping at the Creamery, which is a 2 minute walk from my dorm (not the MAIN creamery. It's a smaller version that also has a laundromat attached to it). The prices are a little ridiculous, but since I don't really want to worry about taking a bus to Wal-Mart, I might be doing most of my shopping at the Creamery, and all my supplies at BYU Bookstore.This is my only magnet on my fridge right now, courtesy of Beckie. This is sorta my motto right now, since I really don't want to be bold. It took a lot to get out of my bed after my nap, get on my bike, and go to the BYU Bookstore to buy an ethernet cable (best purchase ever! This internet is FAST!). But since leaving, it's really nice to know that I have a friend back at the Villa, my roommate for two weeks, Vanessa. I hope that these next two weeks before school starts we can hang out some more and then enjoy attending Dance together (we have the same dance class).

so this is the small tour of my dorm. I actually took a MILLION pictures but some were of really silly things, like my cupboards, a close up of the desk area, more of the sofa (which is a wrap-around, which I didn't show you), and of the boxes that lay collapsed and vacant.

It feels good to be here. In fact, since unpacking, it feels like I've always been here. There's nothing weird about it. Maybe that's because of the fact that I'm used to being nomadic or because I'm numb to everything nowadays, or maybe it's just the Spirit filling me with comfort that it will be alright, even if, financially, it doesn't feel okay. My financial situation is like a storm, looming in the background. It isn't in my face just yet but the need to prepare for the storm is very crucial for my survival. But I feel at peace now, watching those storm clouds, because I know that I won't be alone. I won't be abandoned and left for dead. I have friends, I have family, and I have my Father in Heaven to help me through this. And I will survive.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Invasion of the Future Tenants

Okay, so I know I've been complaining about loneliness in this old apartment for the past week, but I wasn't prepared for this much company in response.
Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

Ever since yesterday, I have had people coming in and out of my apartment. First, they were shy and apprehensive about intruding on my lifestyle. But the more I was kind to them, the more they decided to take advantage of my kindness and my willingness for them to bring their stuff in and get an idea for the place. As I type this, there are probably 7 people in my living room, making noises, walking around and laughing obnoxiously. I have just finished Moulin Rouge! about fifteen minutes ago and was thinking about going to bed. But no. They've decided to come in after a crazy game of ultimate frisbee, stinking up the place and checking it out, including coming down those stairs to my living area and poking their heads around, looking at my stuff, moving my things(!) and not even caring I'm here.

Now, I was okay when it was just the girls living here. But since they've already seen it, they've decided to invite everyone they know to check it out. They're bringing GUESTS into a place that isn't theirs yet! Hello?! I'm living here, okay? So what if you're going to live here soon, I could care less. I am living here. NOW. At this moment. And you all are invading my privacy.

Sorry, this is more of a rant than anything. You all can ignore it, but it's the only thing that's keeping me from wanting to go up there and go all Quentin Tarantino on them and take my tennis racket, ram it up their noses, bust open their heads and watch with grim satisfaction as their brains spill across the floor. Of course, I'd be responsible for cleaning the apartment of their brains but it's a small price to pay to regain the peace and quiet lifestyle I had before they decided to bring everyone in Provo into this tiny, thin-walled apartment. And I'd probably be kicked out of BYU for disobeying the "Thou Shalt Not Kill" commandment. Again, small price to pay. I think my case would be understood in court. I would get the sympathy of the jury.

Tomorrow, this post might even be deleted. I'll be sure to post with something more worth your time.

Thank goodness for my late sleeping habits. If I had an early day at work, I would be less merciful and would run up those stairs with my violin case in my hands, ready to knock some obnoxious people down. *deep breaths* I'll try and calm down. Really. I will. But if you see my face headlining all the major newspapers, just know it was for a good cause.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Apartment until the 15th

So I took some pictures of my rooming area (I'll save the upstairs for another time to create anticipation). It's not much, but I felt you guys would want to know what I'm living in:
This is the corner of my area, right by the staircase that leads down to my room. As you can see, boxes and random stuff clutter that area. And my tennis rackets, of course.This is the closet, or as I like to call it, the junk room (I've never actually called it that, I just wanted to jazz it up...yeah, I know, fail). My clothes, other boxes, dirty clothes and other things litter this area. Can you spot the guitar in all the mess? (and for what it's worth, my violin is on the top rack, which isn't pictured).
My bed, which I didn't bother making this morning. I did yesterday, honest! I just didn't feel like it today. But yeah, it's a comfy bed, snuggled in the corner, there. Notice the dresser that I don't use.So, this is the pile of stuff by my bed. Harry Potter, PPZ as me and Sarah like to call it (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies), David Sedaris, Major Dick Winter's autobiography on WWII called Beyond Band of Brothers, and my journal underneath that. Laptop bag and scriptures in the mix, sorta hiding next to Harry.My desk area. Laptop, Arrested Development Season 2, Psych season 2, Lotion (a MUST), paper, pen for note taking when calling financial aid (grrrrr). Yep. This is where I've spent most of my time, sadly. I've watched two movies, Wimbledon my first night and The Island the second night and those two amazing TV shows in between.

I'll give more later, such as bathroom, upstairs, kitchen, and the creepy crawl space down here (I have no idea why this cupboard is here!). Anyways, here's the humble abode.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Adventures of Kirsti...the adult

I can't believe that the summer has flown as fast as it has. Believe me, I was hoping for it to go by slowly, in anticipation for the situation I currently find myself at this very moment: alone. But not alone like the Twilight Zone episode where that guy is the last living human on earth and tries reading books but breaks his glasses, no. Not quite at that point. But alone in the sense that for the first time in my life I can do and be whatever I want, with no one holding my hand and telling me how to do it. I thought being in high school was hard. This is something completely different, something only going thousands of miles away from home and being thrown into a new environment can do to someone.

My humble apartment for two weeks has my junk scattered around. This morning I woke up with a leaky bathroom roof and faulty internet, two things that required a responsible person to make phone calls, something I would usually burden my mom with immediately. But I picked up the phone, called the internet support people, and got a very helpful male on the other end who walked with me step by step until I finally had working internet. It took twenty minutes and at the end of the conversation I sat there and thought about what I had just did without skipping a beat. It was then that I reminisced about my self-consciousness to do things by myself before I moved out here to Utah. It only took 12 hours for it to be shoved out of me. After that, I felt real good.

A few hours later, I decided to address the leaky roof problem. Let me reiterate. This apartment is two stories and meant for 6 girls. My only roommate, Vanessa, is living in the upstairs in one of the two rooms up there, and I took the downstairs room, which is wide and spacious with it's own bathroom (spoiled, I know). I went to the bathroom this morning and found a nice puddle at my feet. I looked up and saw a steady drip coming from a hole in the plaster. Greeaaat. I had been living there not even ONE day and things were breaking. So when I went out for my bike-ride around the area, I went to the apartment office and talked to a girl working there. I told her the problem and she said it would be taken care of. Now, when I hear something like that, I think it'll be taken care of in a few days. About an hour or so after I told the girl, I get a knock at my door. Before I can open the door and realize its my door that's being knocked on, a guy walks in and mentions he's here for the leak. I show him the leak and he gets to work. Vanessa claimed she hadn't taken a shower yet in the day she's lived there (she's in the same predicament as me), so I told him it was probably the toilet. I've yet to see the success of the repair, but it seems to be working.

Again, I realized that only responsible people would take care of a leak the first day it occurs. And again, I felt really good. Until I thought about what I would have to do for the next few weeks.

For some reason, the idea of job-searching is terrifying for me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I don't have a car. I have my new bike, which isn't a bad bike, it's just I'm not used to it. I'm not used to getting around in this way, and I have my paranoia. What if I'm late somewhere, like class, or if I do get a job, work? I don't know how long it takes me to get places. And then the fact that it is summer and if I go in for an interview, I'll look sweaty or hot. Mind you, it's not Missouri humidity, but it's still up in the 90's-100's every day. And I still don't really know my way around Provo. But thank goodness for Mapquest.

Okay, so this post is really ADD-prone, but I guess I should explain WHY I have to live in an apartment, and not my dorm in Wyview.

Last Thursday, when my family and I came into Utah, we went to the Wyview office and asked when we could move in. They told us the earliest we could move was the 15th, but we'd have to pay a $15 charge every day I stayed before my official move-in date (the 26th). Because I had come out here to find a job, the fact that I would be staying in American Fork (20 minutes away from Provo) was troublesome, especially to my grandma who didn't want to be a burden. For one, that wasn't my concern. Mine was getting to Provo to job search every day. I didn't have a car, I was going to be getting a bike and the bus system is really confusing. So I was panicking. But then we got to talking to my Aunt Darla, who lived near the manager of some apartments really close to Provo High School. A few conversations later, we cut a deal that I could live in a temporary apartment until the 15th with a small payment of roughly $60. So that's what we did Monday. We moved into the apartment after shopping for food, necessities, and a bike (chain and helmet as well). It's an old apartment, probably made in the 70's or something. But it'll do for now. And it's just down the street from where I'll be living permanently for the next year.

Anyways, those are all the stories. Now I'm here, sitting on my bed, staring at my laptop screen and wishing desperately that I had more motivation to get out there and be an individual already. But I'm scared. I can make phone calls to strangers, but getting out there and meeting them is completely different. I bet my roommate thinks I'm a recluse or something, I hardly come out from the downstairs. But I find that if I don't think about it too much and I just bite the bullet, I can get things done. But I have those moments where I wish I weren't 18, where I weren't going to college and I could be 10 again and worried about the coloring assignment due in my elementary school class, not whether I get a job to support my living.

So if I call any of you, it's usually out of fear and I'm seeking out strength from the people I hold dear. Because even though I do a few responsible things, I'm still a child seeking comfort, someone who is insecure and unsure and testing the waters. But thank goodness for the gospel and the current sunday school lessons focusing on Doctrine and Covenants 121. I just think of how the Lord responded to Joseph Smith's pleas. "[Kirsten], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions are but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

Sorry for the ADD rant today. But I hope this gets across the many emotions flooding through me as I start a new chapter in my life. I know I'll prevail, it's just not going to be painless as I always hope.