Saturday, March 14, 2009

Decisions

I had an enlightening talk with a few people this week regarding my previous blog post. One was with my best friend, Sara, and the other was with my brother, Steven. I was at my One-Acts festival yesterday when I expressed my stress about college and that I can't fully calm down until I buckle down and decide which to go to. Sara asked me the pros and cons of both schools (she's not a reader of my blog). I told her the gist of the lists and told her what I was considering: going to UM-SL for a year and then transferring out to BYU. I said that I wanted to take baby steps since going right out to BYU would be terrifying. Sara, as most of you don't know, is going to Turkey for a year starting this August through the Rotary program. So she knows better than anyone else the fears of leaving home. Kelsey, another one of my friends who was in the conversation, said she was planning on doing something like that as well. But Sara was the one to shoot down the idea. She said that it would be harder to leave home if I went to UM-SL for a year. She said that going out far first and then coming home is much better because its better to go cold turkey than taking steps, otherwise it'll be harder to leave. She used the fact that she's going to Turkey as an example. Once she's been to Turkey, going to college closer though not exactly at home will be much easier since she's been extremely far away for an extended period of time and knows at that point that it is possible to do it.
Although I didn't necessarily want to hear this, I knew what she was coming from and I respect her opinion and took it for thought.
Later that afternoon, my brother calls me. He left a mesage on my phone the previous night during work stating that I should go to BYU. Unlike my other siblings (exception maybe Emily, though she hasn't called me and shouted "GO TO BYU", but close enough), Steven is the first to actually tell me where I should go. Maybe everyone else is afraid of swaying me one direction or the other or because they really don't have an opinion, I was really appreciative of Steven to come out and state what he thought. Of course, the scaredy cat in me was hoping he would say UM-SL for the sake of my comfort zone, but he said BYU. I allowed him to argue his point and listened. He made some really valid points and I had to agree with him. The conversation was short lived since he had things to do and I had other things that needed to get done before work, but it stuck in my mind for the remainder of the day. In a matter of a few hours, I had two very wonderful people argue logically in favor of the farther of the two schools.
So without further ado, I've decided that I will be attending BYU starting the fall-winter '09 semester. Condolences, congradulations, or a pat on the back will be nice in the next few weeks and I will definitely need some help moving out there when the time comes. It wasn't an easy decision, but I know that the Lord will provide for me and won't lead me astray.
Thank you all for being patient. I hate making big decisions, but it's a relief to finally have it made.

5 comments:

Tamara said...

YIPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

I have to admit, I am partly to blame for Steven's swayed opinion *smile*, and I've wanted to sit you down and tell you millions of reasons why I think a "westward expansion" would be the best of the 2, but I honor your right to make your OWN decisions, and didn't want to bore you with such things, if you really wanted to stick close to home. But, in summary, here are a few things I think about it (and don't worry...at my Birthday dinner, Steven & I talked about YOU for about 30 minutes....)

1. I think you have a LOT going for you. You have so many dreams & aspirations. You have so much talent. You are so cute, so fun, and have tons of energy. You are intelligent & aren't swayed by what MOST think about you. You are the type who would LOVE getting out on your own (although scary...I KNOW!) & struggle a bit to achieve your every dream, and just FLOURISH when you reach them (and it was ALL BY YOURSELF)!!! It's a great feeling!

2. I lived @ home for a year and went to school, and I leaned WAY too much on family & those I already knew. I didn't have to jump out of my comfort zone one bit, and I didn't GROW as much, nor did I care to at the time...I thought, "WHY? I already have everything I need, so why bother?" Going completely away from everything you know, rely on, and are familiar with is so scary, but there is something to be said about it, for sure...and you'll know what I mean once you've done it. It is so satisfying and unbelievable.

3. You will have opportunities that aren't afforded to you anywhere else. Of course, you know that!!! You can date TONS of guys and have tons of experiences right around you. You don't have to pick the best out of just 100 in the ward or institute...they are everywhere. Overwhelming at first, @ I know you're worried about marriage junk, but you are WAY to smart for that, and the guys that come back wanting to get married are looking for a particular "type", and you'll know what I mean once you're out there a few days...you are DEFINITELY not their type (and that is a GREAT thing!).

So, those are just a few of my thoughts (and sorry they are so long). I say this is a rare opportunity that you are afforded, and congrats on giving it a good TRY. If after a year you don't like it...you'll ALWAYS get back into UM-SL and make it work. You won't kick yourself in the booty for not having tried. That would be a terrifying thing (to have regrets) later on to wish you'd done something different.

And for what it's worth...if you need anything, Steven & I will definitely help you. Whatever it is...that's what graduation money is for, too (so get your paper & addresses ready...you'll need a lot of items...bed sheets, pillows, pots n pans, etc). And I LOVE shopping and looking at ads...you tell me what you need, and I'll help you find them at BARGAIN prices, girl!

YEAH! Did I mention I'm excited for you?

Ok, I'm done now.

Tamara said...

ok, I'm sorry that was THAT long...so much to say, and now I'm embarassed.

*sigh*

gd said...

How EXCITING!! First--I totally agree with Tamara. Every bit of it. I went to college four hours away, and it's one of the best things I ever did (my 'safe' option was MU). It was, of course, hard saying goodbye to Emily as she flew away from me...but I am so envious of her experiences out West, and am thrilled you get to have some of the same! Iowa, though a great state in many ways, just doesn't have the beauty or opportunities Utah does...!!

(Also, did Em tell you my great-great-great-great [maybe one more great, I forgot] grandfather founded BYU?)

Congratulations! This next phase of your life will be such a BLAST!

:)

Genny

Jeanne, the mom and grandmom said...

It is pathetic that me, your mother, was so stupidly busy today that I am reading about your decision on your blog while you are at work. And, it is a miracle that I am even sitting still enough to read blogs (which I haven't done in over three weeks!) Sigh - you wanna fire me?

I am relieved that you have made your decision because I know how heavily this has been weighing upon you. I know you know that this is what I hoped you would decide. You also know that I was all right with you going to UMSL.

Whew - now we can move forward.....

Peeser said...

I'm proud of you for making such a big decision. I don't remember if I ever offered you any advice. If I did, and it sucked, I'm sorry. Despite my prejudices against BYU, I think for you it will be a good move because I feel you are grounded enough to handle it without getting overwhelmed. As Emily told me when I was trying to decide where I should move, sometimes you just have to take the plunge in faith, knowing that the Lord will help you find a way to make things work. I think breaking away from the family for a while will help you grow in ways even you might never have expected. And one thing I always envied about Emily is that she got to know aunts/uncles/cousins/Grandma better than most of the rest of us. You will have that same opportunity, and I envy you too for that. And it's not like you're signing a life-long contract to live there or anything- if you like it and WANT to stay, great. But if you don't, you can always come back to MO,like Emily did...

(sorry for adding another epic entry, but there are my thoughts for whatever they're worth...)