Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Apologize by OneRepublic
(a song on
my blog)
I'm holdin' on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground.
And I'm hearin' what you say,
But I just can't make a sound.
You tell me that you need me,
Then you go and cut me down...
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry,
Didn't think I'd turn around...
And say...

That it's too late to apologize.
It's too late...
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.

Despite the fact that Timbaland makes it all pop-y in the rendition that I have, I love the song. I love its message, its beat, its tune, everything. I think what I've learned through the song is one of the best Christmas presents I've gotten: The courage to accept change and things that may not be what you want. I feel proud knowing that I've learned this life lesson early in life, instead of when I'm out on my own without the protection of my home and without the close love of my family and friends. So I thank you all for the wonderful material gifts you have given me, but the greatest gift is your support and understanding that this year and this coming year will be a particularly dark chapter in my life. I've gone through a lot, and thats not counting the stuff in the past few months. But you've all been there lovingly, and thank you so much.

Juli-You've been a great older sister. That gift you gave me(the journal with courage on the cover and courageous quotes within) is wonderful and fits so well with my life. You're such an inspiration and seem to know everything. Thanks for being there.

Emily-You're embarking on something new in your life, just like me, but you're is slightly more life-altering and considerably cuter. You and your spunkiness give me something to look forward to in life: being a cute and wonderful mom to cute and wonderful kids. I hope that I may have half the life you've lived so far.

Elise-For such a small person, you sure have the biggest personality. You're child-like attitude can be, at times, annoying, but it reminds me to never degrade my past and to embrace the child within, especially around family when you can get away with it.

Beckie-My second mom. You spoil me and always manage to make me feel better, even if it isn't through material means. You're so huggable and loveable, like a giant teddy bear. Thanks for being you!

Steven-My only brother, you let me indulge in my nerdy side. I can discuss, for hours at a time, stuff like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, heck, even World of Warcraft if the discussion leads to that. Plus, you've helped me grow my passion for sports, particularly Tennis. Love ya, bro!

Sarah-Sure, we used to argue everyday, sometimes with our fists, but you're the closest in age to me and seem to know more about what I'm going through than the rest of my adult siblings. I'm literally a teen and you're a teen in spirit, so thanks for helping me through the hard times, sis.

Mom and Dad-you have been so supportive of all my ambitions, even if some don't follow through, and have attended most of my music concerts(even if you fell asleep during them...DAD!), not to mention raised me. Well, I hope you raised me right because in a few years, I'll be leaving the house and embarking on my own life. I just hope that I'll still be accepted back home, wherever home is after I leave. Love you both, and thanks.

Joe and Tamara-I've hardly known you two, Joe being the longest, and thats saying something, but you seem to fit right into the Lambson family just fine. Don't mind my moodiness. You all were teens at some point in life. And don't be offended if I don't feel like talking to you. You're both a little weird and, Joe, you kinda smell funny(just joking). Its just hormones. Love you both, and thanks for joining our family.

and finally

Tamara Kitchen-In a matter of months, I have become really close to you and have finally found a kindred spirit who can share my burdens with me while I share yours. We have so much in common and I love the fact that the standard issue won't get in the way: we're both mormons! :) I hope that your Sophomore year won't be a disappointment and I hope that my horrible Junior year experiences aren't completely dampening your High School experience. I love you and you're such a strong woman. Stay that way, even when everything loses hope. I'm just beginning to get used to this courage thing, and its hard. I hope you have better luck and easier situations.

Sorry for getting all mushy and stuff, but I've never really fully appreciated those closest to me. Love you all, and enjoy the holidays!

1 comment:

Julina said...

Thank you for your thoughts - they mean more to me than your gift (though I'll be sure to have fun with it/them, too).

One of the things I've learned is that I need a lot of positive reinforcement - and I suspect I'm not alone in this. So I appreciate the boost you've given me in this post, and in return, I'd like to say that you've managed to navigate this difficult year with grace and humor (for the most part). I stand so much in awe of you and your strength in the face of so much greater opposition than I faced at your age - just a short 15 years ago. You can't take anything for granted in this crazy world, and you can't let down your guard for a moment (well, maybe when you're in the temple...). Your testimony is strong, your personality is strong, even your physical body is strong (you athlete...) Don't let your strength fool you into thinking you can do it alone (you always need the Savior...) but rejoice and give thanks for the gifts you have been given, and trust the Lord to give you what you need in the future. You are amazing, and if I didn't love you so much, I'd probably hate you for being so amazing ;-)

Take care, and God bless you in 2008