Saturday, August 25, 2007

School, Tennis, and Everything else in between

Well. School has started. It started last Tuesday, and from Wednesday to Friday we've had heat release days, so this week was the most incomplete week of school EVER, and it still seemed to last an excruciatingly long time. My schedule is as follows:

1. Orchestra-Ms. Belding
2. AP US History [block]-Mr. Deken
3. AP English [block]-Mrs. Rahm
4. Integrated Math 4 Honors- Mrs. Baker
LUNCH
5. French 2 Advanced- Mrs. Wetzel
6. Sociology- Mr. Johnson
7. Musical Productions 2- Mrs. Steinhaus

Its a pretty neat schedule, and the class that I wasn't looking forward to(Sociology) is actually really interesting. The teacher is my old track coach who didn't really like me, but he isn't biased in the class room. I'm really looking forward to what I'm going to learn in that class. But I think my favorite thing about the day is Lunch, because there are tons of neat people there. AP is really interesting and fun, especially since Mr. Deken and Mrs. Rahm are really energetic and entertaining to listen to. Math isn't all that bad and Mrs. Baker is a pretty good teacher. French is outrageous! Madame Wetzel is the most flamboyant old woman I've ever met! She laughs funny as well. I can't even begin to explain how crazy that class is. Musical Productions is fun, as usual. Nothing else to say. And Orchestra is awesome.

As for tennis, I'm currently somewhere in the top 2 JV. I'll be getting a challenge match on Monday for a spot in Varsity, which is exciting. But we had our first match of the season this past Thursday...against Rock Bridge. And we lost dismally. No one won. I played 3 matches, lost my singles 1-8, and lost my 2 doubles 0-8 and 0-6. But that isn't what got me so down. It was the article in the Tribune the next day. Read it for yourself. This is what got me all worked up yesterday. I was very moody all night and wished that I had kicked Rock Bridge in the butt. It was the last sentence that really got to me. Everything else was fine...but then he had to put lemon juice in the wound. What a jerk.

Anyways, I've got a few chores that need to be done, and then I'll be practicing my serve.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Summertime Blues

I am now experiencing a feeling of depression as my summer is slowly dwindling to an end. This week I begin the slow and steady descent into a monotonous routine of waking up at 5:00, taking a shower, eating breakfast whilst reading scriptures with my family, going to seminary, leaving seminary for school, and enduring a 7 hour school day full of endless lectures with tedious homework assignments dished out at the end and having tennis practice for 2 hours after school everyday and if I do the musical, doing those rehearsals, then coming home, doing homework and practicing instruments and having private lessons. Sure, a full life should keep me from being bored, but I remember vividly my feelings during the middle of last school year...the feeling of questioning why I put up with this, of being worn out and sick of everything, of not having anything new in my life...ugh. I'm already anticipating that I'm really going to dislike this school year. Its my Junior year and everyone says its the toughest. I've enrolled in another AP block course, and decided to go back into the Integrated Honors system instead of the easier Integrated system. Anyways...you could say that I'm already hating school before it's even started. I've also enrolled in French 2 Advanced...and now I'm wondering if I have enough of the french language in my word bank to survive in this class.

To bring things even lower, tennis has *almost* lost its fun. I love playing it, but I hate how I feel around the coach. He treats me very insignificantly and almost expects me to do bad and not even have a chance for the varsity squad. I'm a girl who likes being pushed, and frankly, he's not pushing my game enough. He puts me with the inexperienced people, and although I am slightly inexperienced, its quite humiliating when I've had pretty intense tennis training this summer and have actually beaten 2 of the girls on the varsity squad in matches. I still love the game and playing it, I just don't like how small I feel, and I have to get used to that. If I want to rise, I have to fall.

I have 1 1/2 weeks of freedom...and all of the events that have been planned for those weeks, I don't want to do them. Tennis practice this week has drained me emotionally and physically so that I constantly want to be in someone's company but then wish I wasn't anymore. I go through this cycle at least 5 times a day. What is wrong with me?

Anyways...I should probably be trying to finish my AP book. I want to, but at the same time, I don't. I hate being in this emotional limbo. Its really starting to irritate me.